Anne Resler

Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT,LPC) Focus in spiritual abuse & trauma.

[Anne Resler @anneresler]

@_nomadic_soul As a therapist, I think naming that the culture operates out of (rooted in) fear, shame & control. The fruit that comes out of that never produces health, sexually, emotionally, relationally or spiritually.

[chuck degroat @chuckdegroat]

The first recorded instance of gaslighting:

"Did God really say you must from the tree?" (Genesis 3:1)

And yet, somehow even that story turned into a story of how very bad to the core we are.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

Not all healing is the responsibility of the person who is hurt. There is profound healing in someone defending them, protecting them, removing others from having access to them. There is power in being one who uses their voice to protect those who are too tired to say it again.

[David Hayward | Artist @nakedpastor]

Believe the Stories of Victims of Abuse

I want to share with you a very valuable lesson I learned about listening to the stories of victims of abuse, harassment, and assault.

If you don’t already know this, I hope you learn this necessary lesson too.

When an abused person finds the courage to take the risk to tell their story of abuse, often the story is so overwhelming, bewildering, and confusing, that their story is not believed.

People leap to the conclusion they are exaggerating their story.

Maybe just because they're a woman.
Maybe to evoke pity.
Maybe to exact revenge.
Maybe because they've don’t remember details.

All kinds of reasons.

All in an attempt, often, to silence the abuser and protect the protagonist.

Here's an interesting quote:

"A dispassionate conceptual development of the typology of violence must by definition ignore its traumatic impact. Yet there is a sense in which a cold analysis of violence somehow reproduces and participates in its horror. A distinction needs to be made, as well, between (factual) truth and truthfulness: what renders a report of a raped woman (or any other narrative of a trauma) truthful is its very factual unreliability, its confusion, its inconsistency. If the victim were able to report on her painful and humiliating experience in a clear manner, with all the data arranged in a consistent order, this very quality would make us suspicious of its truth." (Slavoj Žižek, Violence: Six Sideways Reflections)

Horror, confusion, and inconsistency accompany these stories.

Fact!

Because the horrific stories of abuse are not felt and communicated linearly, consistently, or calmly. They issue out of bewildering trauma.

Experts who deal with traumatized victims of abuse understand this and are able to piece together the story that is comprehensible to us.

When people share with me their stories of abuse, I believe them.

Do you?

[Rachael Denhollander @R_Denhollander]

If you saw Shiny Happy People, you will want to see this.

I am so deeply proud of these survivors, and it is an incredible privilege to elevate their voices by participating in this documentary.

https://t.co/xsYuCDCq8w

[Zach W. Lambert @ZachWLambert]

Want to know just how much the toxic ideology from #ShinyHappyPeople (Bill Gothard, Duggars, IBLP, etc.) infiltrated mainstream evangelicalism?

This true story takes place at one of the largest Southern Baptist churches in the world and it’s called Sex, Supper and Submission…

[Sheila Gregoire--She Deserves Better is here! @sheilagregoire]

I want to say this carefully, but firmly:

There is reason to be worried for the wives and daughters of the pastors (and other men) who have been tweeting about how David didn't rape Bathsheba.

The women you know in real life may need your help.

[Julie Anne Smith @DefendTheSheep]

"Most women don’t leave the church because they were rebellious; they leave because they were badly harmed, and no one gave a damn about their suffering."

https://t.co/4voPwCHVoD

[David Carlson smashing pumpkins @TheBibleInVerse]

God says, "I hate divorce" in the Bible. Why?
Because He was denouncing men who deal treacherously with their wives.

"I hate divorce" was a *protective* statement *for* the women. Not a vindictive one.

It *obviously* cannot be used to keep women in abusive situations.

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

God is ever and always, with no shadow or turning. He is truth. He is light. Light exposes the truth. It exposes beauty and horror. Clean and filthy. And truth always calls what is exposed by its right name.

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

Most abuse survivors never tell their stories. Some have tried to tell and were not believed, or their stories were told without any care for them. If a survivor does step forward to tell the truth of their lives they will need safety, understanding and support.

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

Words with emotional and verbal power:  

“Today Christianity stands at the head of this country — I pledge that I will never tie myself to those who want to destroy Christianity — We want to fill our culture again with the Christian spirit . . .

[Lecrae @lecrae]

A lot of Christians are afraid of “Deconstruction.” I’ve personally gone thru it and let me give you food for thought.
1. There are 2 types of deconstruction happening in the church. One is healthy the other is dangerous. 🧵

[Bob Hamp @bobhamp]

Faith doesn’t come FROM us it come TO Us.

[Kristin Du Mez @kkdumez]

Mandatory weekend reading:
“What kind of Christianity would we have if the faith hadn’t only been based upon, "Peter, you are the Rock and upon this Rock I will build my church"? But what if we’d always known, “Mary, you are the Tower, & by this Tower we shall all stand?”

[Beth Moore @BethMooreLPM]

There are things I so wish people understood about what sexual abuse can do to an individual. Please know that I am not speaking for all or even most survivors here. I speak only for myself and some others who have shared their journeys with me through years of women’s ministry.

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

“He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; And like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely our griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried.”  Isaiah 53

[hannah anderson @sometimesalight]

This clip explains so much about how toxic behavior from even a small minority can spread & affect the entire culture of the group.

The question is not how many people are toxic in a given space; it's whether the behavior goes unchecked.

[Hillary L McBride @hillarylmcbride]

Spiritual trauma is someone handing you an inner critic and telling you it’s the voice of God

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

Abuse of any kind comes from the heart of the person who abuses.  It is not due to the victim’s behavior, clothing, wrongdoing or anything else - the perpetrator is exposing the contents of his/her own heart and mind - his/her actions speak about them and them alone.