Annie

what the

[Annie @annnnerr]

today my second graders decided to tell me some of the things I’m good at, so here are the top 5:

1. scraping the cheese off of their pizza
2. addition / “MAYBE subtraction”
3. wearing glasses
4. walking in the hallway
5. opening water bottles

..... a girl of many talents!

[tyler woodward @tyler02020202]

[planning out my day]
11AM-3PM: shower and eat bagel

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

every year im given no warning that the kentucky derby is happening. what if i wanted to go

[trash jones @jzux]

if you hear me telling the same story twice just let it go. i only have like six memories and they all take turns

[Emily Heller @MrEmilyHeller]

I'm in kind of a weird mood, so I'm asking that no one be mean to me for the next couple years if that's cool

[Michael Benjamin @mfbenji]

Normalize everyone closing their eyes while I’m trying to park on a busy street

[niti @NITIN1E]

jennifer lopez in me in
her fifties my twenties

[Matt Bellassai @MattBellassai]

in my opinion there are too many things going on

[Gail Walden @GailWalden6]

My new year's resolution is to see what happens

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

the jonas brothers went to the year 3000. they could have warned us about covid-19 but chose not to

[Annie @annnnerr]

@Leekee_Leek44 If they call you can you give them my number PLS they’ve never asked me 😢😭

[Soulja Boy @souljaboy]

Don’t forget to turn your swag on today

[Public Citizen @Public_Citizen]

94% of public school teachers have to spend their own money on school supplies.

[MS NOW @MSNOWNews]

WATCH: "OK. Here we are again in the unusual position of not only interrupting the president of the United States, but correcting the president of the United States," Brian Williams says on @MSNBC moments into the president's statement tonight.

[Annie @annnnerr]

@_hah_nuh me as a patient: wait can u go back I’m not sure

[रोहन ठाणेदार @marathiMaharaja]

why do numbers change when we add them together

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

From the guy who brought you “the reason there are so many cases is because we are doing too many tests” comes the new hit single “I’m only losing because they’re counting all the votes against me”