Allen Jones

Sup dollface?~Porkchop's 2p counterpart.I'm not your cheery hamburger loving hero.||Brother:@DeathByCanada. ||@littlemaplematt is my firefly.~

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

All I know about Calpernia is that her favorite tea is mint and I could just throw that in the ocean.

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

when you play dragon age: inquisition for 50 something hours and you get killed

[Just Skye ✨🌸 @xJustSkye]

When you're approached by someone you really hate and they start talking to you.

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

Boooo
'Tis I,sir actual dickhead!
I have rose from my gr--
pppft, no I haven't, I'm still as dead as ever.B)

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

Who's not dead?
I'm not dead!
"That's a lie!"
Right,you are!
[chants this for 5 billion years]

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

oh,you're setting off fireworks? (◡‿◡✿)
huh? (◡‿◡✿) you're being a butt about 'em?(◡‿◡✿)
would you like me to shove one up your butt? (☉‿☉✿)

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

Please don't ask me what freedom is.
I will screech in your face and slap the burger from your hand. ♡

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

me rn: http://t.co/fA5KgpaSs6

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

Current mood B^) :

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

In other news,
[rips shirt open]
[scREECHES]
HAPPY 4TH OF JULYYYYYYYY
[makes raptor sounds]
[runs into the sunset of freedom and fireworks]

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

heeey. B^)

I hope your burger falls.♡

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

@littlemaplematt Well you learn something new everyday. *smiles*

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

@littlemaplematt Yes.You truly can't stop being cute. You can only get cuter.

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

@littlemaplematt ...*squints his eyes* Point taken.

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

@littlemaplematt *hugs* Aww geez,Matthew, stop being so cute.Please.There's only so much my heart can take.

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

@littlemaplematt Well,yeah. I wouldn't forget your birthday for anything! *grins*

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

@DeathByCanada --random birthday cards. B^)

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

@DeathByCanada I was going to wish you a happy birthday like a normal person,but instead,I'll send you these--

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

@littlemaplematt --everywhere* So happy birthday to the most amazing,plus incredibly adorable person ever! *smooches and huggles*

[Allen Jones @annoyedhero]

@littlemaplematt Yes,Hello.I have arrived to give you a birthday kiss cause:
A.It's your birthday.
B. iTS YOUR BIRTHADAY *throws sparkles--