An Elderly Primigravida

An over 40 first time mom who will tell you exactly what to do with your “elderly” title.

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

Parenting during a #pandemic is hard. Here’s how my toddler and I are trying to find our way.
.
https://t.co/tOOVOmYTcq

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

Is there some kind of rule that all ice cream trucks have to play It’s a Small World?
.
#annoying #onrepeat #whyareyoudrivingaroundduringquarantine

[Positively Randi @ICantEven001]

Watch your children play.
Watch your spouse laugh.
Watch the sunset.

Don’t watch the news.

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

Well, it’s official. Even though he doesn’t turn three until next month, we’re already exhibiting signs of threenagerism. If I had a disinfecting wipe for every time I’ve been told “No!” during quarantine thus far, I’d have a huge supply.

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

And on the 4th day of quarantine, he got a black eye. On Momma’s watch. 😐❤️
#parentingfail #QuarantineLife #toddlerlife #boymom

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

@Steph_A_Nanny Hi! I’m a freelance copy and content writer. Now is more important than ever to stay in the minds and hearts of your customers. Check me out at https://t.co/RGSdlXsDk3

[Scary Mommy @ScaryMommy]

Instead of birth classes, moms should take a real-deal mom course where you learn things like:

- What to do when there’s poop in the tub
- How to find the closest public restroom
- How to calm a baby when they’re screaming bloody murder
- Who to call when you want to give up

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

@ScaryMommy This is truth. I’ve had to deal with all of these!

[Scary Mommy @ScaryMommy]

Experts advise washing your hands for the length of time it takes for your child to put on shoes.

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

@ScaryMommy I will never be able to leave the bathroom 😐

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

#toddlers #toddlermom #toddlermomlife #haikuoftheday #lifeinfivesevenfive #toddlermoments #letthembelittle

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

@fakeadultmom Or tried to clean his nose out with a Nose Frida

[Mommy Uncensored @amomuncensored]

3 made a new word combining beautiful and fantastic to make “betastic,” then looked at herself in the mirror and said, “Mommy I look betastic today.” This is exactly the kind of creativity and self-image we all need in our lives.

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

Do you know what this is a photo of? This is a photo of a little boy who slept through the night!
.
#nosleep #toddlerlife #momlife #ThankfulThursday

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

Show and tell your loved ones how much you care every day, every minute. Have faith. Choose joy. And never let them doubt they are loved.
.
#haikuoftheday #lifeinfivesevenfive #havefaith #choosejoy #countyourblessings

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

So we can now add anything with merely a button opening, a hood, or even just a collar or different type of neckline to the list of things my toddler won't wear. Apparently, it will just be this. Basic tee shirts. On repeat. 😐
.
So how's your day going?

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

Meanwhile, at our house...
.
via @LifeofDadShow

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

I’ve found that real life as a parent is vastly different from my dreamy-eyed musings. So here are four main things I’ve learned about myself since becoming a parent. And most aren’t that great:
https://t.co/var6rCgssk

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

#haikuoftheday #toddlerlife #justusethepottyalready #whatstinksinhere #serioulsygross #parenting

[An Elderly Primigravida @anold1sttimemom]

Child had an asthmatic episode this weekend. Luckily, he bounced back very quickly, but daddy got a big batch of coughing in the face on Sunday, and now Daddy is a big batch of sick. Luckily, so far, knock on wood, Mommy remains immune.
.
#getmesomemeds #haikuoftheday #lifein575