A Lizard Named Beth

what's that? a hat?

beep boop

[aether @bluewdrift]

according to philosophy, the highest form of peace is to have zero desire to be understood, admired, pitied or even known.

[Lost Nomad @lost_nomad__]

A fun case of a broken clock: Xi Jinping actually nailed this perfectly

[Tired Monk @itswforwumbo]

suggested going up on my psych meds to my doctor and he said “there is no up”

[O.W. Root @owroot]

The fact that you can't even make out on a bench in Central Park without someone recording you on their iPhone and then posting it to social media as some kind of bit is everything that's wrong with society and I am not joking. The surveillance state (administered by an actual state or by the millions of people with phones who want to embarrass people on their TL) is essentially the least romantic thing imaginable in both the love sense and the living sense. It is anti-romantic and anti-life. Part of the reason why the before world was fun was the fact that you didn't have this kind of thing. The ability to do something without it being documented and recorded is the difference between being free vs an animal locked in a cage. There is a direct correlation between everyone constantly being afraid that someone is going to record them and post it somewhere and society becoming more neurotic, less fun, more boring, and less alive.

The self-administered surveillance state is the enemy of life.

[Covie @covie_93]

The war in Iran is approaching that crucial point where it becomes Joe Biden's fault.

[Political Polls @PpollingNumbers]

Trump administration releases documents alleging Russia tried to interfere in the 2020 election.

The target was Joe Biden as they tried to help Trump win another term

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

Amy Coney Barrett finding out her kids have to live in the world she legislates is almost poetic.

[Cuck Liddell @c0ck_l3snar]

If you have diarrhea from the parasite, do not worry and hang in there, we are going to send money to Israel.

[ape attack survivor @pissvortex]

It’s so fucking absurd that after a couple of months of letting Elon try his vulgar libertarian budget theories it’s just doomed us for the foreseeable future. There’s parasites and disease everywhere. People are shitting themselves to death. They’re going to call this the Poop Presidency

[charles r. davis @charizardavis]

lindsey graham deathmogging mitch mcconnell

[KaRAYgeous TRANTIFA ☽☾🩷💜💙🪻 @kraywhiseheart]

Her feminism isn’t intersectional. Her latest album is riddled w/racially charged lyrics. Her LGBTQ+ “allyship” is performative & hollow. Her cult treats people who criticize her like MAGA defending Trump - racist, misogynistic, ableist, fatphobic, homophobic/transphobic attacks.

[Democrats Deliver @DemzDeliver]

🚨 Olivia Rodrigo to fund Planned Parenthood with concert sales after Trump defunded the organization.

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

We hired a new VP of Engineering who is obsessed with agile methodology.

He called a meeting on his first day and said we need to transition to 2-week development sprints.

He wanted daily stand-ups, retrospective boards, and continuous deployment pipelines.

He wanted us to actually write new code.

I realized immediately that he was an existential threat to my lifestyle.

I let him finish his impassioned speech about workflow velocity.

Then I stood up, walked to the whiteboard, and drew a single horizontal line.

I told him agile sprints are a localized solution for a localized mindset.

I said our infrastructure operates on a Zenith Release Cycle.

He asked what a Zenith Release Cycle was.

I told him it's a holistic, macro-stabilization framework where we observe the system in a state of prolonged stasis.

By not touching the code for 18 months, we allow the legacy dependencies to organically settle.

I told him that deploying bi-weekly updates creates micro-abrasions in our database architecture.

I used the phrase chronological data scarring.

The CEO was in the room and audibly gasped.

He told the new VP that we can't risk chronological data scarring just to satisfy a trendy tech buzzword.

The VP looked at me like I'd just invented a new color.

He was completely paralyzed by the sheer density of my fabricated jargon.

He quietly agreed to adopt the Zenith Release Cycle.

We're officially scheduled to deploy our next update in the third quarter of 2027.

I spent the rest of the afternoon buying things I don't need on Amazon.

Agile is a disease invented by people who want to be punished for their salary.

I refuse to participate in my own suffering.

[clintoris @clintoris]

Asking HR if assisted suicide is covered in our monthly wellness stipend

[jennifer hamiston @majortransceleb]

trans women stop going on podcasts and explaining what is trans. nobody care. only one thing is trans: club ellen.

[Dontmesswithme2001 @rillsrillest]

Sabrina………
Madonna……….

[Pop Base @PopBase]

SpongeBob SquarePants has revealed that its iconic real estate agent is named Janet.

She made her first appearance in the series 27 years ago.