Sound Guy

Creating sound designs, performing sound board acrobatics, and fielding asinine questions. Patrons or actors: who can ask a dumber question?

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

Elderly Parking. I know it's backstage, but still... #StageShotSunday p.s. Damn shitty theater wifi...

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

Hey choreographer: why are you giving the actors mic placement notes? Why are you getting mad at me when i point out you're wrong?

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

A moratorium on "Time of Your Life" performances at graduations!

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

"do you renounce Satan?" "bah-bahbahbah." (water) (crying) Baby baptisms are strange.

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

"This condom dust gets everywhere." #soundProblems

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

The church is opening the early service with "Pictures at an Exhibition" for organ, trumpet, and timpani...how awesome is that shit?

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

Tell your old patrons it's their fault they can't hear: http://t.co/lfMKuPY5

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

I can walk up to an attractive lady and say, "I need to change your condom," and her reaction is to take off her clothes. #OnlyInTheater

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

I love the horror that falls over a patron's face when I tell them the show runs 2 1/2 hours.

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

Sick for a preview. A whole bottle of Nyquil will make the show more awesome, right?

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

Hispanic Lily Tomlin #audienceBingo

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

An early Christmas present from the church. How did they know I love pasta?

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

So apparently we're going to start our Christmas program by having Alzheimers lead a sing-along.

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

The little girl in the cast handed me her mic, having already removed the condom. She told me she wanted to keep it. #proudStageParents

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

I only seem to remember I have this when i'm working high school shows...

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

Wha...this play's still going?

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

I need more techs like this. I finally got my emails organized.

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

Dear audience: mics break sometimes. #DeptOfCommonSense

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

Behind that pillar? That's where I perform. #StageShotSunday

[Sound Guy @anonSoundQs]

Why must you turn "go" into a verbal whip crack, sir? "@OneNYCStagehand: @backstagejobs In NYC, blacks only needed for scene change."