The Tiny Hand
personal diaries
Mum was a teacher. And a damn fine one. She knew her subject. She was equally deft at many other things too. And, to cap it all, she was beautiful. Long hair, fair, velvety skin and big eyes. Her eyes and her red bindi on her forehead always reminded me of Teri bindiya re…
Every year, her college had a picnic. For me, it was a picnic and a holiday. I got to tag along. Importantly, I got to claim my ownership of this ethereal being. My mum.
That year, the destination was the Harike Barrage.
We went by bus. I sat close to Mum, holding on to her sari. It was crisp cotton, and I loved the little scrunching sound the starch made whenever I rolled the itsy bitsy corner into a tiny ball. She had jasmine tucked into her hair. Every time she moved, a faint fragrance of mogra touched me.
The picnic was the usual mix of chatter, lots of food, laughter, and running about. Some physical games like badminton and kho kho were truly energy sapping. We collected shells while the teachers kept watch.
For a while, I wandered off. I soon came back and stuck myself to Mum.
There was a game of passing the parcel. The parcel reached her. Her prompt was to sing a song.
Mum sang a lovely ghazal.
*Zikr hota hai jab qayamat ka,*
*tere jalwon ki baat hoti hai…*
There were wah wahs all around.
My eyes noticed something. Her fingers were trembling.
It could be because she was singing in front of her colleagues and students. Maybe she was plain shy. Whatever it was, I knew immediately that Mum was nervous.
I grabbed her hand and held it tightly. It was my little way of saying that I had her back. Earlier, I had been hiding in the folds of her sari. Now, in my little frock, I suddenly wanted to become her anchor.
We were one unit.
Mum gently hugged me. I remember the warmth of that hug, the hold of her hand and the fragrance of mogras in her hair. I remember feeling that I had somehow protected her.
When we came back home, Mum told Dad about it. She smiled as she told him how her fingers had trembled while she was singing, and how I had immediately caught her hand, to hide her nervousness.
That night, as she put me to sleep, she spoke to me gently.
"Bachhe,( child) all of us have anxious moments. But Rabb (God) sends support. It is all right to be nervous. We are ordinary."
Then she said something I have remembered ever since.
"When you are older, there will be a tiny hand comforting you too."
I don't know if I got the drift of her words then. But I understood that even grownups need support, no matter how beautiful or capable they are. It was a very human thing. All the teachers, the mothers, the people we imagine are invincible do get the heebie jeebies. We are ordinary and have shortcomings.
She tucked me in. And then she sang me to sleep. The same song.
Zikr hota hai jab qayamat ka,
tere jalwon ki baat hoti hai…
The same voice that had been shaky that afternoon was so melodic and confident now. Only now the ditty was just for me.
And somewhere between her song, aromatic mogra and the warmth of her hand, I fell asleep.
Years later, I think I understand what Mum was telling me. That we are all ordinary. We all tremble. We all have moments when our hands betray our nervousness. And perhaps Rabb's kindness lies in sending us someone whose hand we can hold.
A mother holds a child's hand and vice versa. It is much later in life we discover that the hand we thought we were holding for her was also holding us.
The clasp, the hug and the song linger.
In the great, human family, maybe that is just what we are here to do. To be the tiny hand for someone else.
Your love for Krishna doesn’t build a Krishna temple in Bangladesh & Europe
Just like Bapat is not gonna come on roads to save Hinduism but same people dancing on DJ will be out on roads to save the day when Ganpati would be attacked
Be humble & let everyone worship their way
जिन भयंकर नखों से हिरण्यकश्यप का वक्षस्थल विदीर्ण किया था, उन्हीं कोमल हाथों से भगवान ने प्रह्लाद को गोद में उठा लिया, सिर पर अभयहस्त रखा और वात्सल्य से चेहरा निहारने लगे।
बलभद्रः प्रलम्बघ्नो बलदेवोऽच्युताग्रजः।
रेवतीरमणो रामः कामपालो हलायुधः॥
बलभद्र (बलशाली), प्रलम्बघ्न (प्रलम्ब के हन्ता), बलदेव (बल देने वाले), अच्युताग्रज (श्रीकृष्ण के बड़े भाई), रेवतीरमण (रेवतीपति), राम (आनंदप्रदाता), कामपाल (इच्छाओं के पूर्तिकर्ता) हलायुध (हल धारण करने वाले)
@SwiggyCares@SwiggyCares please schedule the reverse pickup for now. And this time please make sure someone actually comes and mu return is not cancelled from your side without informing me.