Alex Cohen

Member of Founding Staff @hellopatient | Previously: Led consumer and growth product @carbonhealth | Hobbies include getting fired constantly | Mostly satire

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

Excited to share that we've raised a $22.5m Series A for Hello Patient, led by Scale Venture Partners.

This is by far the worst announcement video I've ever made.

I can't believe our lead investor agreed to this

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

Our lead investor and I have a big announcement to share.

Thursday, 9AM PT.

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

@samdblond @carolinedclark I never got a bottle :(

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

@jonjfarb As soon we exited the tunnel I saw a lady taking a shit into a storm drain.

0/10 would not recommend

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

Newark gets a lot of airport hate but I just landed here and the terminal is brand new, energy drinks are buy 2 get 1 free, the walk to the Uber pickup is 30 seconds, and the ride share waiting areas have heat lamps.

10/10 would fly here again

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

@alexlmiller The worst imo

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

POV: You’re buying creatine in San Francisco in 2027

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

California has passed a law requiring age verification to buy creatine starting January 1, 2027

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

I don't think the Chinese Spy is hot

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

Oh no

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

This is my quant

[Kris Kay | 🎲 444 Capital @thekriskay]

The affair rally:

$AMZN has added $2 trillion to its market cap since Bezos cheated on his wife in 2019

$MSFT has added $2 trillion to its market cap since Bill Gates cheated in 2021.

$NVDA bull case just dropped

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

I used an NVIDIA GPU to make this

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

@berner_my Florida or Tennessee?

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

Would be incredibly disappointing and bad for Texas if our newly elected officials pushed Elon and his companies out of the state

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

SpaceX and Tesla have prospered in Texas, because we were not constantly operating under an oppressive and extractive state government.

And I need to be close to the factories, so that I can walk the floor in person. That’s why the first major SpaceX factory was in LA and first major Tesla factory was in SF Bay Area.

As California became increasingly difficult, due to extreme taxes and overregulation, we moved our major domestic expansions and HQ to Texas.

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

Costco shareholders today

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

Just preemptively added this Slackbot auto response to our company Slack to get ahead of the upcoming legislative changes

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

@Scott__Bowerman Hope you’re right

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

RIP AI it was fun while it lasted

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

A jet crashed in my hometown today and this is one of the most insane videos I’ve ever seen

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

@buccocapital Everything that guy posts is bait

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

I hate SF Halloween. What do you mean you're the personal AI agent billboard?

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

@CaitlinCloud9 Out of town :(

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

New Siri AI is amazing 🤩

I always text my friends using Microsoft Teams how did it know

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

@brianhollinger It’s a W when you work in healthcare