shan

floor it?

[shan @ant_brain_]

The more illiterate the plug the better the product

[shan @ant_brain_]

I'm going to steal her and she doesn't even know it

[jaxonloid @jaxonloid]

Why does nobody question the fact that bugs can just walk on walls. How can they do that.

[shan @ant_brain_]

Person before me found a nickel and a penny in between the car seats and said make it work

[shan @ant_brain_]

Never forget there's always someone down worse than you

[shan @ant_brain_]

All moved in :)

[shan @ant_brain_]

Briefly considered starting inhalants as a loophole for inevitable drug testing in my future, but it would frankly be too embarrassing to even attempt. Whippets aren't something you can start in your late 20s

[shan @ant_brain_]

I ain't smoked in months and I'm still having the craziest dreams every single night. At least this morning I woke up and losing my job and being forced into rehab wasn't my reality.

[shan @ant_brain_]

Yall I swear there's some kind of curse going around, 3 of my friends (that's like almost all of them) have totaled their cars since the start of the year, now this. I fear I may be next

[shan @ant_brain_]

They should have a Spotify wrapped for Waze. "You reported 6 objects in the road, 1 flooded road, 43 sneaky ass police in 2025"

[shan @ant_brain_]

@TheDarkDuchesss False positives are common, those urine cup tests are surprisingly unreliable. PCP is the most common false pos I see at work followed by benzos. I see false pos for fent occasionally. I've gotten a false pos for fent in sober living and almost lost my housing over it.

[shan @ant_brain_]

Free kayak lfg

[shan @ant_brain_]

You get a nice fish on the line and all the sudden strangers be so excited to do your bidding. Yeah fetch me my net, boy. Grab my gloves too.

[shan @ant_brain_]

Went to Google for legal advice and the AI summary at the top told me to just kill myself

[shan @ant_brain_]

Almost killed a homeless person playing frogger on capital blvd Jesus Christ

[shan @ant_brain_]

I be stealing hella toothbrushes when I go to the bathroom at the dentist office

[shan @ant_brain_]

@BPL7000

[shan @ant_brain_]

What sucks about no longer being cripplingly depressed is I actually gotta come up with plans for life. Everytime something goes wrong I can't just go "bet I'll just kms" i actually gotta come up with something

[shan @ant_brain_]

TANK ALERT 🗣️🗣️

[shan @ant_brain_]

Showed him the sunset his friends ain't gonna believe this