Trump: Voting machines are rigged & poll watchers were denied & mail-in ballots were fraudulent. I won!
Student in my class: Dog ate my homework & I didn't know what the homework was & I didn't get time. I completed my homework!
@KapilSharmaK9 Kapil ji, My father really really loves your show. I'm coming to India next week and would like to take my parents to see your show. May I get six tickets for June 26 or 27? Thank you!
Free college, etc. is nice, but I'd really like to have a free job. I'm tired of having to pay @Starbucks $8,500 a month for the privilege of working there. And they keep hiking the rate ever year!
"In order to run as a Democrat today, you have to fall in line with free Medicare for everybody—free—free college for everybody, a free job for everybody,"
@HowardSchultz tells us why he would run as an Independent in 2020. "We can't afford to do it free" https://t.co/PCMHBZ9q65