punchline writer

I don’t write threads because I can articulate my thoughts in 280 characters

[punchline writer @anymysha]

never sending a man a @Reductress post again

[guillotine girl @guill0tinegirl]

being friends with a therapist is fun because i told her i’m going to get a haircut this weekend and she said “what’s happening in your life that’s lead to this decision”

[Alex Press @alexnpress]

night water hits different

[eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone]

You’ve hit bottom. You’ve tried Pilates. You joined a book club. You joined a hate group. You micro-dosed LSD. You took cold plunges. You read Truman Capotes IN COLD BLOOD. You cut out sugar. Isn’t it time you drove a Ford? Ford. It’s almost over.

[punchline writer @anymysha]

@RicinBean Either dry shampoo or more frequent washes. Best is to air out the hair immediately after working out and leave it open.

[punchline writer @anymysha]

@kshipra_sharma Toh matt dekho. Manaa kar do unhe.

[punchline writer @anymysha]

I’m evolved enough to have read and understood Freud, but not evolved enough to handle pollen.

[punchline writer @anymysha]

@gorizmi Waah

[punchline writer @anymysha]

@atablefor_one Gonna be super honest here… heels are terrible after 3-4 hours. The only ones that I could wear for longer were Skechers or Clarks. Get some with a super thick base. Good luck

[punchline writer @anymysha]

@knowkenny Is your UK show in May going to be in only English? Want to see if I can invite my non-Indian friends.

[Daniel Thorson @dthorson]

Every-time I see this picture of Piaget's office I get so happy.

[punchline writer @anymysha]

@notredamned Oh that’s actually genius!

[punchline writer @anymysha]

Only app that has content that matters to me.

[punchline writer @anymysha]

@notredamned DailyArt

[Santi Ruiz @rSanti97]

it’s that time of night again (thinking about how much better Goodreads could be)

[punchline writer @anymysha]

@lilcosmicowgirl How delightful.

[punchline writer @anymysha]

Oh lord, please grant me a stressful work deadline so I can deep clean my house.

[punchline writer @anymysha]

omg I learnt a new word. i’m going to be insufferable at work.