p

it’s like sandra bullock but with a p

[p @apalakalypse]

hello my 3 followers. you are all v valuable to me

[bobby wasabi @bobbyteriyaki]

people be having under 200 followers just tweeting into the abyss

[p @apalakalypse]

already getting fomo that I won’t be at p’s baraat

[p @apalakalypse]

mahima mahajan at a haldi or mehndi? groundbreaking.

[p @apalakalypse]

why don’t guys have engagement rings

[p @apalakalypse]

can’t believe one day my kids will marry someone and then I’ll have in-laws and I’ll have to like them

[p @apalakalypse]

i like having a bf bc if u say u want ice cream, he has to come get it with u

[p @apalakalypse]

this is true love

[p @apalakalypse]

there need to be women only pilates classes

[p @apalakalypse]

me: i’m not needy
also me:

[p @apalakalypse]

crazy how big ur rooms looks when there aren’t clothes all over the floor

[p @apalakalypse]

bryant park doesn’t deserve pura vida

[p @apalakalypse]

p life would be so boring if he didn’t have to keep up with my antics

[p @apalakalypse]

Morgan Stanley did its employeee so dirty by not moving their office from Times Square

[p @apalakalypse]

we were liars on @PrimeVideo is not getting the attention it deserves

[p @apalakalypse]

maturity is admitting there are comfier socks than kb ones from costco

[p @apalakalypse]

my dream job is probably being the global ambassador for gol guppa

[p @apalakalypse]

Number of consecutive days that @NJTRANSIT has been on time: 0

[p @apalakalypse]

hate this new trend of wearing yellow at haldi events

[p @apalakalypse]

train conductor just said thank u for choosing njt but bro I was forced

[p @apalakalypse]

I hate when people tell me to calm down bc I am calm but now ur aggrevating me

[p @apalakalypse]

top worst 5 feelings is activating ur njt ticket and it not getting checked