Monké

Rejected Humanity

[Monké @apecognitions]

Took a shit so hard lowkey got post nut clarity

[Monké @apecognitions]

We care more about knowing who were on that island than aliens now. Should have released the UFO files when I was in third grade White House.

[Monké @apecognitions]

Hawk Tuah was invented by the IDF

[Monké @apecognitions]

The Academy Members are going to see Lee Byung-hun in their homes

[Monké @apecognitions]

Ted Sarandos is such a fucking chud

[Monké @apecognitions]

@brockpierson Plant Protein

[Monké @apecognitions]

I’m just an incredibly autistic individual

[Monké @apecognitions]

Does Dr. Doom raise his hand when the flight attendant shouts “is there a doctor on the plane!?”

[Monké @apecognitions]

Purposely not going to lean CPR so people don’t rely on me during an emergency

[Monké @apecognitions]

If they have a blue checkmark, it’s your excuse to not treat them like human

[Monké @apecognitions]

Telling people to kill themselves is a form of constructive criticism from where I come from

[Monké @apecognitions]

@nalinrajput23 Psychosis

[Monké @apecognitions]

@NefflynBe When they ask “what is a sign of very low intelligence”

[Monké @apecognitions]

I’m trying to start my porn star career on Fiverr

[Monké @apecognitions]

No joke my wife was in labor so I played the 2016 XXL Cypher to calm her down and the baby came out the birth canal saying “who tf picked this sorry ass beat” 🤯

[Monké @apecognitions]

Did Charlie Kirk’s tour get cancelled?

[Monké @apecognitions]

I didn’t lose the plot, I just forgot it

[Monké @apecognitions]

He fuckin died lmao

[Monké @apecognitions]

Should I let my baby cousin hit my vape?

[Monké @apecognitions]

@Pokemon no one buying your dumbass game. Sincerely, all Pokémon fans .

[Monké @apecognitions]

America drifting into fascism before GTA 6

[Monké @apecognitions]

United Airlines ads are so dumb bruh, how da hell the pilot knew one of the passengers beat cancer?