Philosoraptor

I am the original philosoraptor.

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

What does a blind person see in their mind? Black or white?

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

Can Skrillex fish when he drops the bass?

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

How do 'Do Not Walk On Grass' signs get there?

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If a man speaks in the woods and there is no woman there, is he still wrong?

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

Grammar - The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

Why is the winner of the Miss Universe pageant always from earth?

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

Are people that manufacture tabletops counterproductive?

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

If you have x-ray vision and you close your eyes, can you still see?

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

If 10 times better than the leading brand, then why isn't it the leading brand?

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

If a red head works at a bakery, does that make him a ginger bread man?

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

If practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, then why practice?

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again.

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

Take your age, subtract 3, then add 3. That is your age.

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

If McDonalds is usIng 100% chicken now, what the fuck were they using before?

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Leonardo DiCaprio never died in Titanic. Last scene: him going underwater. First Scene in Inception: him waking up on a beach.

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life, and you're just starting back at your last checkpoint?

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

Why is twitter so much better than Facebook?

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

It takes your brain approximately 90 seconds to decide whether or not you like someone.

[Philosoraptor @aphilosoraptr]

Microwave: (noun) A hand gesture used by a midget to say hello