Hanlon's Laser

If you hand me any basket of beliefs, I’m going to start throwing some out.

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

Don’t be ICE, don’t be Antifa.

Go ahead and argue vociferously on social media.

Try to be tolerant and generous with your assumptions about people you meet in the physical world.

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

@neoavatara Remember this?

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

Remember this?

[Megan McArdle @asymmetricinfo]

Platner on MSNBC not doing a good job of explaining how Fifeld texted a friend that he had a Nazi tattoo before he says he realized it was a Nazi tattoo.

[Bonchie @bonchieredstate]

Sheldon Whitehouse is the same guy who accused Brett Kavanaugh of being a rapist because he wrote "boofing" in his yearbook.

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

Seems nice

[davey @jerseyh0mo]

@GemmaNoiosi Christianity is more invasive because it’s glorified mental illness. Provide definitive and incontrovertible evidence that god is real right now or shut up.

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

@christopherrufo

[Hunter Boone @HunterBoone]

reminder that bari weiss quit in shame at @nytimes because my team called her out for being A LIAR

[Christopher F. Rufo ⚔️ @christopherrufo]

Bragging that you initiated a chain of events that made your enemy 1000x more successful is a very, very funny thing to do

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

Progressive governance ruins nice places

[Ari Hoffman @thehoffather]

NEW: Someone is reportedly going around Seattle's progressive Capitol Hill neighborhood and carving "Anne Frank" and a Swastika into parked Teslas

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

We can, but we so rarely do.

[Cathy Young 🇺🇸🇺🇦🇮🇱 @CathyYoung63]

New from me at @JoinPersuasion, on the #HenryNowak murder and the political fallout. Can we address the real issues without hysteria, hyperbole and disinformation?

https://t.co/1uTbcARhWw

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

“Could we be in Heaven right now?”

And

“Is this as good as it gets?”

Are equivalent statements.

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

Owner occupied homes at a high. But tell us more about investor- owned property

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

Undefeated in serial wrongness.

[Tom Elliott @tomselliott]

Don Lemon on @ScottPelley getting fired: "This is a very dangerous moment ... We should all be a Scott Pelley. Scott Pelley should be an example to us. We should all support him. His story is our story."

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

What the U.S. Has Accomplished in Iran

Well, once can hope https://t.co/uEMuDoNcEQ

[Jonathan Pope @PopeJon32]

@AdamCrafton_ @TheAthleticFC To be fair to FIFA, they are only trying to make up the revenue they lost because they weren’t able to accept bribes when awarding the WC to all of North America. That money has to come from somewhere and it’s not coming from Middle Eastern oligarchs anymore.

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

Presumes the pre-existence of a ‘thread’

[Noah Rothman @NoahCRothman]

Trump Has Lost the Thread on Iran https://t.co/CZyQWN8R6N

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

DSA is a constant source of comedy.

“I keep my aol and MySpace accounts, thank you very much”

[Claire Valdez @claireforny]

You should be able to Google something the old fashioned way.

[Yaroslav Trofimov @yarotrof]

Got it. If Irish aluminum is used to kill Palestinians, it’s shouldn’t be sold, but if it’s used for Russian missiles killing Ukrainians, we just need to think about local jobs first.

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

@CTIronman True!

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

Quality content

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

In America, a stranger will rename you in a single breath, and you are simply expected to come when called.

I went to eat at a busy restaurant. A young man at the front asked for my name, to mark my place in line. I gave it the weight it has carried for eight hundred years.

"Nobunaga."

He smiled, nodded, and wrote it down with great confidence. Then he read it back to me, to be sure he had honored it correctly.

"Perfect. Banana, party of one."

Banana. He had heard my name, held it a moment, and returned to me something rounder and more cheerful. To refuse the name a host gives is to refuse his welcome. I bowed. I was Banana now.

Then he handed me a small black disc, said it would "light up and buzz" when my table was ready, and turned to the next guest as though he had not just placed a living thing in my hands.

I held it in both palms, the way one holds a small sleeping beast that may wake. I found a place to stand. I waited, ready.

It woke.

It screamed. It flashed red. It leapt and shook in my hands like a captured spirit demanding release. A lesser man would have dropped it. I did not. I gripped it, steady, looked into its blinking lights, and told it, in a low voice, that its time had come. Then I carried it back to the host with both hands, the way one returns a hawk to its master.

He took it without looking and shouted across the entire room.

"BANANA! Party of one, your table's ready!"

A hundred strangers turned. I rose. I crossed that floor as Banana, spine straight, chin level, a man answering to his name. A child pointed at me. I gave the child a small bow. He had recognized me.

All through the meal they kept me. "How's it tasting, Banana?" "More water, Banana?" The check, when it came, said Banana, and thanked me for visiting. By the end the whole staff knew me. They waved as I left. "Night, Banana!"

So tell me honestly.

For eight hundred years my clan answered to one name. Tonight I answered to a fruit, calmed a screaming relic in my bare hands, and ate among people who were glad I came.

When the little disc lights up, is the table truly mine, or am I only keeping it warm for the next Banana?

Because I have already decided to return on Friday, and to ask, very humbly, for the same disc.

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

@VladSF @kimmaicutler

[Hanlon's Laser @aphofer]

@Charliemagne ‘Enclosed is your formal termination letter’. And the ‘cause’ has been documented for the world to see. But always better to avoid editorial comment, I agree on that.