apple

[yosoymario @yosoymario91]

The best feeling is when you take like 500 mg of caffeine, arrive at the gym after work, and every single parking spot and machine you want to use in a 1 mile radius is taken

[Bisexual Gamer Looking For Love, Pls look female @skramzbunny]

how about 5.5 inches and normal. How about employed at an unimpressive job. how about mediocre finances and a complicated relationship with family.

[apple @aplwtf]

@leaguepublicacc @stargazermellu Cupertino

[melody☆ @stargazermellu]

"san jose has no culture"
the culture:

[Hugh “The Wrench” Janus MBA @glizzy__goblin_]

My goal in life is to be posted in one of those “what am I doing wrong” posts with my chud ass next to my rocket gf

[apple @aplwtf]

@The_Money_Buddy What car

[apple @aplwtf]

They need a decaf monster

[bmw ²¹² @bmwwasoffensive]

i don’t even know this guy

[🧑🏾‍🦱 @ewgraiam]

they’re saying there’s 30g of protein in spending a night laughing with your friends

[Maddy ⛰️🌲⚔️ @maddyrvturns]

Not participating in humiliation rituals such as job interviews or modern dating

[apple @aplwtf]

@FloridaB66592 @UbermenschMind I think he knows that bro. He’s not tryna look good he’s trying to win bodybuilding shows

[chase @funnysmartguy12]

it’s funny how people that code for a living genuinely think they deserve to live

[apple @aplwtf]

@WoWSciOp @CattManii @deserteagle291 What company if you don’t mind me asking?

[apple @aplwtf]

@BrAgLifeEnjoyer @sknnylegend Minoxidil is a 5ar inhibitor just like finasteride

[Benadryl Wife @bennydrillwife]

what doesnt kill you texts you 6 months later

[ChatGPT @adderallchic_]

Jus went to my bros crib and he had like 20k worth of clothes on the ground and no bed frame

[Roshan Patel @roshanpateI]

We hired a college intern. Today's his first day. Here's what he just sent me.

[apple @aplwtf]

posted a birthday pic and my ex didn't text me bro fuck this i want a refund