âIâm the one who calls out. Iâm the one who corrects. Iâm the one who rephrases. I've had plenty of people be like: you canât tell me what to say. But if youâre allowed to say whatever you want, I'm allowed to react however I want. Right? Maybe my reaction is an attempt to correct you, but youâre allowed to take it or let it go. Maybe what you said seems trivial to you. But the little things are easier to fix. And they help build a foundation. So the bigger things are easier to address. And also: do the big things even matter if you donât care about the small things? Obviously I canât fight everything. You do have to pick your fights. And aggression never works. Because you want to win the war, and not just the battle. But one thing Iâll never let slide is pronouns. If someone is purposely using incorrect pronouns, thatâs getting corrected, on the spot. Itâs baseline respect. Itâs like using a mean nickname or something. Itâs just not nice, you know? I know you want to use whatever language you want, but maybe itâs not about you. Maybe Iâm not trying to take away your freedom. Maybe Iâm not trying to make you feel like a bad person. Maybe itâs more about: letâs not hurt the person itâs affecting, you know? I was very, very close to someone who had just started transitioning. And he did everything he could to pass as a man, because he is a man. But he still had some female features. And I was with him when someone misgendered him. I could tell that he was upset, so I followed him to his room. And I watched him just fall apart because of the dysphoria it caused. Itâs likeâ you could have literally taken two seconds to choose the respectful word. But you didnât. And look at the harm you just caused.â
âIt can feel like hamster wheel shit. My mental health gets in the way. I forget thereâs a sun sometimes. But if I died today, my testament would be my community. Itâs this huge queer community. Every color of the fucking rainbow. Every gender, every race, every orientation. Right now weâre having a memorial for our friend Tommy. Biggest queen ever, beautiful. Most everyone here has had to walk through life with difficulties. The way they present themselves hasnât always been seen, or respected, or honored. But theyâre still unapologetically existing. And theyâre giving a lot of love. They might not have been shown a lot of love, but theyâre giving a lot of love. No gender bias, no race bias, no financial bias. All they see is flesh, blood, and a fucking soul. Iâve walked among some of the most beautiful humans on earth. I forget that sometimes. I need to be more respectful of that. Iâm living a life that a lot of people want. Iâm surrounded by love.â
These population panic stories always ignore one key issue: how patriarchy is incompatible with modernity. Why do educated, employed women in Japan, Italy, etc. refuse to have babies in societies where men do not equally share the labor-intensive care of children and homes? Hmmđ€