Andrew Marsh

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

Are you interested in a crossover between 90s emo & 90s cartoons? No? Well please but this anyway...@americfootball @TheSimpsons https://t.co/QmBH3MRGpK

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘Our 17 game unbeaten run comes to an end as Valencia take all 3pts at the Bernabeu. To make matters worse Perez blanks me in the hallowed hallways…he blames an ear infection..I think that what pointing at his ear & walking briskly on means’#cm0102

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘The wins keep coming but Florentino Perez still hasn’t taking a liking to me…I think it’s because I added a dash of cranberry juice to the wine he served the one time I went round for dinner’ #cm0102

[(No) Money in the Bank @NMITBank]

The only show that takes 00s pop-culture, emo, and lovingly made homemade prizes is having it's first outing tomorrow at @LeicsComedyFest! Guaranteed perfect way to spend your 9pm on a Saturday
https://t.co/mPxen4XSD2

[(No) Money in the Bank @NMITBank]

It's very silly to me that we get to do our nonsense on a festival full of all my favourite bands

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘Goals, clean sheets & we’re firing on all cylinders ‘anyone fancy karaoke tonight?’ I shout in the post match Stuttgart dressing room. No one takes me up on the offer so I pretend I’m joking…it’s lonely at the top’ #cm0102

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘A good win in Bilbao is enough to satisfy the ‘playing style’ skeptics for the time being.I’ve brought 2 titles, a Champions League & a Super Cup in 1.5 seasons…I can gladly piss off back to Yorkshire & Los Blancos can go back to playing lovey stuff but winning nothing’ #cm0102

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘The wins keep coming but it’s our style of play that’s under the microscope ‘if you want entertainment piss off to the circus’ I growl under my breath before instructing my interpreter not to translate’ #cm0102 #lufc

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘Another season begins in earnest with 4 wins but still..it’s lonely at the top, my dog died. Well actually the microwave broke, but that’s been my best friend on a post match basis’ #cm0102

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘A shootout in Belgium & we clinch the Champions League ‘im going to take the trophy to bed tonight!’ I joke ‘im going to shag it!’ Michael Siddall chimes in inappropriately’ #cm0102

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘A 2nd league title is confirmed in Mallorca but scenes a marred by a mass brawl in the 54th minute. I make it clear I don’t condone the behaviour but in reality I was thinking ‘go on lads, get in to those holiday resort f**kers’ #cm0102

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘We match my old side in every department & it’s all square going in to my return to Elland Road. I’m looking forward to the match, the atmosphere & Graveley’s fish & chips as the prodigal son returns. Is it big headed to refer to myself as ‘the prodigal son’?’ #cm0102

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘The CL quarter final draw will take me back to West Yorkshire & a return to Elland Road…for all the good I did there I’m expecting a decent reception but you never know, I’m going to be a bag of nerves’ #cm0102

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘Mixed results as our young squad battle on two fronts. Michael Siddall’s settling on period is taking time, mainly because I keep referring to his old club as ‘Scum’ instead of ‘Man Utd’ but he’s just going to have to grin & bare that’ #cm0102

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘The goals finally flow as we put Roma to the sword. My post match team talk involves me shouting ‘more of that, more of that, more of that!’ & flapping my arms like a parrot having a heart attack’ #cm0102

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘Life in Madrid’s pretty lonely off the field…any time away from the training ground I spend watching opposition matches on DVD…& occasionally Friends because someone accidentally put season 1 in a DVD marked ‘Valladolid vs Sociedad’ #cm0102

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘23 games unbeaten in all competitions & we’re really beginning to purr ‘like a snow tiger’ I tell the press…I meant snow leopard but blame it on the language barrier’ #cm0102 #lufc

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘Save for the demolition of Villarreal we’re struggling for goals & off the pitch Neil Morrissey wants nothing to do with me…he filmed his scenes & left Madrid without saying goodbye. I’m the best manager in the world…about time I had higher profile celeb friends’ #cm0102

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘I give Neil Morrissey a free ticket to El Classico, a game in which the Catalan club have 2 GKs s/o & we run out easy winners. Neil is disappointed I couldn’t also comp his mate Martin Clunes in. In reality I could of done but those lads annoy me when they’re together’ #cm0102

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘Sorry you got so much grief at Selhurst’ the voice says down the phone…it’s Neil Morrissey ‘I’ll be over there filming an itv comedy drama about a stag do to Madrid if you fancy meeting up’ he continues. I agree to meet but make a mental note never to watch that show’ #cm0102

[Andrew Marsh @appleshampoo182]

‘A draw in the San Siro is enough to see us through in the ChampsLg and our young squad continue to make progress ‘slow & steady wins the race’ I say to the President who says nothing but offers me a mint imperial’ #cm0102