Aprille Clarke

My father told me he started liking Impressionism when his vision went bad. I'm still waiting. I did get glasses, though.
She/her.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

Oh my god, parrot is an anagram of raptor.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

Maria Bamford is on the new season of Everything's Gonna Be Okay. You'll be distressed if you miss it.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

@taramartinIC Yeah, because they’ll murder my enemies! My enemies are mostly gnats.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

I'm kind of bored so I'm thinking about cultivating a loyal army of crows. Any downsides?

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

Would you like to follow my @Aprille_Author account for information on my upcoming book? I would really love it if you did.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

@gschwick I like how I get to say "BOOM" so many times whenever I listen to her.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

Why do I have no problem remembering useless facts like my childhood phone number but cannot remember crucial things like that guy who either won or got second place in American Idol a long time ago? Obvs. gay? Clay or Trey or Shay?

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

@RevChrisStangl Second-best facial expression in that movie.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

@nckroy It's so strange that anyone who has not been through such a personal and emotional experience would feel qualified to harshly judge others about it. Trolls gonna troll. I've got your back, friend.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

I can never remember if it's cla-foutis or ca-floutis, and it sounds ridiculous both ways.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

My son thinks Pfizer is spelled Feizer, and I don't know how to pronounce Chauvin. We consume media differently.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

@LittleVillage Oh, god, Candyland's the worst.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

Oh man. Now if the PEN15 women would star in a Goonies sequel with Martha Plimpton, my adulthood and childhood media mind-merge would be complete.
https://t.co/AfurheIi7L

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

@IwriteOK I’m really sorry.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

I heard @louisvirtel ask "What's your favorite song?" on Keep It, and I couldn't decide between Ella Fitzgerald's version of Girl from Ipanema or Celia Cruz's v. of Guantanamera. So pretty much women of color singing about other women of color in the tropics.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

No, I will not share my watermelon. It is a personal watermelon.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

@IC_ActivityLog Rogue dick or firearm? Lol it’s Iowa who knows?

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

I shaved my legs for the first time in a year because I have a Very Important Appointment tomorrow and I did a terrible job.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

The best part about this dress is how it would disguise an inconvenient boner.

[Aprille Clarke @aprille]

Some days you know why your arm smells like soy sauce. Some days you don’t.