Aran Ford

Follow for drunken philosophy, deadline panics and adventures in parallel parking.

[Aran Ford @aranford]

@aliceemcc Valid point but at this point I’d go for an older person over the majority of my cohort ANY day!! Daniel Craig specifically but beggars can’t be choosers…also hi 👋🏻💚💚💚

[Aran Ford @aranford]

@aliceemcc Because you’re only human!! 🥵

[Aran Ford @aranford]

I just entered @AutoTrader_UK’s monthly️ #ElectricCarGiveaway & you can too! This month’s prize is a Honda E worth over £36k! It’s free to enter & you have until 30th December. All information (including Ts&Cs) can be found here: https://t.co/TYEENJiHFd

[Aran Ford @aranford]

@aliceemcc Wow all the very very best ❤️ you’ve certainly got the weather for it 🔥

[Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91]

Did you know that there are plants that will literally get sick and die if they get too much sun and water? Like, you're a plant. Sun and water are the only things you need to live, OH BUT NOT TOO MUCH. Stop being dramatic you leafy bitch

[Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91]

Hug me so hard I black out or don't waste my fucking time.

[Aran Ford @aranford]

Just do your bit and realise that things aren’t normal at the moment. Let it make you appreciate how privileged we normally are. Use your common-fucking-sense.

[Aran Ford @aranford]

Moaning about all this reads incredibly distastefully. All you have to do is stay at home. No bread in the shop? Eat something else. Buy solid soap, (it’s on the well-stocked shelves next to the expansive Carex void), as long as you wash your hands.

[Aran Ford @aranford]

Moving forward I will send coloured expressions of fondness based on people’s aura. With that said, I do know a few red flags. It ain’t easy being woke.

[Aran Ford @aranford]

Apparently a ❤️ is reserved for messages to significant others? Sorry if I’ve sent any confusing signals, they were unintentional. I can and will do better.

[Aran Ford @aranford]

Kevin G of Mean Girls fame got RIPPED and now appears to be working as a barista. Acting career far too short-lived, I’d be very happy to see him in more...

[Aran Ford @aranford]

@aliceemcc Yes! Mo’ money mo’ problems...SURE

[Aran Ford @aranford]

A big part of me just wants to eschew all material possessions and live off-grid in a hut with a pack of dogs and other assorted animal friends

[Aran Ford @aranford]

Aaaand that’s enough wine for me.

[Aran Ford @aranford]

If I’m happy, I could always be happier. If I had 1,000,000,000, I’d spend 1,000,000,001

[Aran Ford @aranford]

Demonstrably, neither money nor happiness can be bought, and I never seem to have enough of either

[Aran Ford @aranford]

But another part just wants a lottery win

[Aran Ford @aranford]

@aliceemcc Thanks 🥰

[Aran Ford @aranford]

Is Trump still a thing? Like...that’s still going on? Girl. You deserve better than this. Get your CD’s and LEAVE. #unhhh

[Aran Ford @aranford]

I deleted Twitter off my phone around the time of the last US elections because it had become a rancid cesspool of toxicity. Nothing has changed, but at least support for this lunatic now reads as marginal, even extremist.