leeshan

[leeshan @aranza]

These tweets are a lot better if you imagine them being read by Morgan Freeman. http://t.co/z3QVNdKdV6

[leeshan @aranza]

http://t.co/LwKQk7Awwj It could be the wine talking, but I used to be grapes.

[leeshan @aranza]

"Pardon me miss, but would you mind moving out of the way?" --Polite Ludacris http://t.co/9Vx1w0mSEz

[leeshan @aranza]

If you say "people either love me or hate me" it's a pretty safe bet that most of them hate you. http://t.co/ptMFQOaPVZ

[leeshan @aranza]

http://t.co/EfjkU5Do2H Fruit and urinal give a bad name to cakes everywhere.

[leeshan @aranza]

http://t.co/3Q8kQwsjw1 Fruit and urinal give a bad name to cakes everywhere.

[leeshan @aranza]

Accidentally triple-knotted my laces so I guess I'm wearing these shoes for the rest of my life. http://t.co/pGf538C3Wh

[leeshan @aranza]

your grandma has a pic of you in her house when you were in junior high and not at any other age http://t.co/4LkyXaVC7B

[leeshan @aranza]

The loop of Internet sites we repetitively check up on while procrastinating is worse than crack. http://t.co/vNVn6k3oKw

[leeshan @aranza]

Nutella is made with hazelnuts, milk, real cocoa and pure evil. http://t.co/0X7ZO3Bt7V

[leeshan @aranza]

http://t.co/VDIAtbJuuT OK I just checked and cracked iPad screens are NOT covered under the health care reform bill, WTF?

[leeshan @aranza]

http://t.co/ywINtWH2hv I'm worried about DeNiro's mole.

[leeshan @aranza]

In Hidden Valley, childhood obesity is covered up in creamy ranch dressing. http://t.co/J63h1020HJ

[leeshan @aranza]

If you have more than zero bumper stickers on your car you have too many. http://t.co/2qUQxecq4T

[leeshan @aranza]

Ceilings were just ambitious walls. http://t.co/TxSJjzcMQP

[leeshan @aranza]

Do hipster chicks wear sweatpants that say "DRY" on the butt? http://t.co/7Q03Tay5my

[leeshan @aranza]

http://t.co/eWUm8nwCGI How can we know atheism exists? Where's the evidence?

[leeshan @aranza]

No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby. http://t.co/pfa5HCsTbS

[leeshan @aranza]

http://t.co/nIZYxGMiIs Ceilings were just ambitious walls.