I asked my teacher why are the current relationship themes so deep and is this is about childhood trauma. They said no this is way older than childhood.
Some people say they want authenticity and transparency but what they really mean is they want truth that is convenient and that reinforces their current narrative.
even if you have been disappointed before, let yourself want things again. your hope is not embarrassing. your desire is not naive. your heart is allowed to stay open after being tested.
In Kierkegaard's Works of Love, he explains that, much like how prayer is meant to change the heart of the one who prays, the task of love is not to find someone worthy of love, but to build the capacity for it in oneself
This is why I say true divine union is always within and is not really about someone outside of you.
For me, I belong to and am at home with the Beloved. Everyone else is a companion on that path.
As the Sufis say, remember the one to who you belong until you forget yourself.