He thinks of her and he thinks of how love and loss are a nasty, tangled web. He cannot separate one from the other. Love and anger, he thinks, are also the same
do you get it? sanctity begins at home, in the hands that build and the lives we live and the deaths we die and the worms that eat our bodies. if making something by hand is not worthy of veneration then nothing is
i don't want to keep what i lived. i don't know what to do with what i lived, i'm afraid of that profound disorder. i don't trust what happened to me. did something happen to me that i, because i didn't know how to live it, lived as something else?
and if anyone had said this was the price i would have agreed to pay it. that surprises me; that with the hurt and the mess comes a shaft of recognition. it was worth it. love is worth it
to try to write love is to confront the muck of language; that region of hysteria where language is both too much and too little, excessive (by the limitless expansion of the ego, by emotive submersion) and impoverished (by the codes on which love diminishes and levels it)