em

'cause we stopped trying to try, ran out of time

[em @archivemn]

had some songs on repeat and it's fun.

it's not fun when you started to spiral.

[em @archivemn]

got stumped with reality... and it's something.

[em @archivemn]

quoting a piece i kept in my drafts:

"many times i tried to confess to you, but i'm not even sure that this attraction towards you is a real feeling, or i'm just stuck with you. with the thought of you.—

[em @archivemn]

maybe sometimes i do wished for too much

[em @archivemn]

"—i don't know whether this feeling is just embers or some illusion that my brain created and just plays on repeat deciding that you were the best choice (well after my first since i cut him off and i'm unable to contact him back, thus making you the only one with the past ties)"

[em @archivemn]

midnight thoughts.....

[em @archivemn]

quoting a piece i kept in my drafts:

"many times i tried to confess to you, but i'm not even sure that this attraction towards you is a real feeling, or i'm just stuck with you. with the thought of you.—

[em @archivemn]

and what if i let myself yap

[em @archivemn]

why do i like that actor? because he yearns in every fcking movie.... AND I AM A YEARNER HUA

[NasNas@_21 @NasNas_2110]

His laugh.. his smile... so precious, so beautiful🥹
I can hear his laugh all day 24/7 and will never get bored

[em @archivemn]

teen angst.... is something.

mid-20s angst... is also something.

[em @archivemn]

https://t.co/0m7oS8JKmH

[em @archivemn]

heavy thoughts in my brain
knuckles gripped full of pain
in the chest, bubbling feelings
as i stare up to the ceilings

[em @archivemn]

— 📂 prompts/moodboards

[em @archivemn]

https://t.co/cJsctSIvtI

[em @archivemn]

"do i actually have feelings for them, or is it just my aspiration and want to be like them?"

[放浪者 @houroubb]

#BIGBANG

[em @archivemn]

that one silent whisper,
"you can't accept your reality."

the ghost that i can't seem to let go.

[em @archivemn]

heavy thoughts in my brain
knuckles gripped full of pain
in the chest, bubbling feelings
as i stare up to the ceilings

[em @archivemn]

already too far to be a kid
but why am i transported back to 16?

all those words, those memories
those feelings of inadequacy
the taste of failure and expectations
the ghosts of the past that haunt me forever

[em @archivemn]

then everything went downhill
i forgot to communicate with people
so that i won't have any expectations
i forgot to focus in classes and doing my works
i'm losing my motivation
i forgot to care about myself
doing things on autopilot

[em @archivemn]

i can't figure out what to say
all those words that soothe my aching heart gives no effect
and i can't even lie to myself anymore
then i started to forget things
as another solution

i forget the feelings
happiness, joy
sadness, jealousy
pain, hurt

[em @archivemn]

twisting my own words against myself
i don't know what's actually wrong and right
do i feel hurt? do i feel happy?
jumbling phrases and emotions
losing myself in this confusion

and if you're asking me am i okay?
i stare at the words, trying to figure out what should i say.