the average witty guy

why be a king when you can be a god

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

What do I want to be this Halloween?

3. Batman 🦇👱
2. Ken
1. Loved

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

Learning German was fun until I started learning colors.
Rot=Red , Blau=Blue, Grün=Green, Gelb=Yellow, Schwarz=Black.

Wtf is his Family name again?
Schwarzenegger?😭

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

Indians : Happy Holi
US, Isreal, Iran & UAE: Holy shit
Santa claus: ho ho ho
Bobby: Lilly
ANR: Nee intlo na s...

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

Realizing that being 'The Penguin' is a temporary buff, but being 'Punch the Monkey' is a permanent state of being. Just find your Orangutan and stop crashing out. The 2026 gonna be wild.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

Empathy is a disease. One minute I'm analyzing your childhood attachment style, and the next I'm holding a deep, personal grudge against an elderly couple I will never meet.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

New year resolution:
Noti doola tagginchukovali.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

We are walking through life unhappy, living like failures simply to avoid becoming the main topic of discussion on a dinner table for four random people on one weekend.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

Recent obsession:
Writing short fictional stories which can never become true.
Which App?
Microsoft To-Do.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

I've finally grown up.
I no longer feel lonely.
I feel LOANly.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

Things you shouldn't say to your GF when she's on her periods.

3. Again? Come on.
2. Stop over-reacting its just a period.
1. Nethuruku Marigina hungry cheetah.

#og #OjasGambheera

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

Life begins in a diaper and ends in a diaper.
Everything in between is just shit.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

My therapist asked me to stop being soo self aware.
So, now I dont give a fu©️k to whatever I say because its none of my business.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

My 4th standard Maths Raju sir once said to me
"You’ll never be successful. You take life too easy. If you ever be something? You'd be a mere walking meatball fit for nothing."
15 years later, I am happy to say that.. he’s the only man who ever believed in me and he is right.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

If you always wanted to climb the mountain to prove some people wrong. You will never be happy with the view up there.

Do it for yourself. Do it for fun. Because fuck people.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

The foolish poor divide themselves into caste, creed, and religion, but the only divide that ever exists is rich and poor.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

Happy climbing the corporate ladder, quicker?
Are you winning the rat race?

Congratulations, Fastest rat's still a rat.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

Feeling low? Lost purpose? No motivation? A failure?
Just one Virat Kohli KGF edit later, I’m ready to f*cking conquer empires.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

Jathakalu or Kundli for marriage is just parents playing FLAMES… but adult edition:
Family, Longevity, Amsa, Manglik, Endurance, Stability.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

May we all get so rich that our kids can study whatever useless and shitty course they’re passionate about. Like ECE.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

Parents: Hits for crying
Me: suppresses emotions to survive

Life: Congratulations, here's your dose of depression, because you suppress the sadness, and a pinch of loneliness as you are unable to find emotional connections.

[the average witty guy @arcp7299]

Stopped getting FOMO from Instagram trips and fancy food...
Now I get envy of LinkedIn promotions and "grateful to share" posts.

Adulting is hard and payroll depression is the hardest.