alexa🍄

I got my forklift certification in November 2019 and it was all downhill from there

[autist @litteralyme0]

i think i made too many tweets about argentina 🫩

[jackson 🇪🇸 @jacksonicide]

The sensor at urinals scans your penis and sells it to palantir

[Milk Ape 🦍 @milk__ape]

violent gorilla attack

[jim −☆ @zimzalajim]

almost cried at work today and then i randomly remembered this tweet and i burst out laughing

[Youyou 🫀 @Youss_nkt]

Y'a une araignée qui traine dans ma chambre depuis 2 semaines j'ai décidé de l'épargner ce matin je vois elle a capturé un moustique dans ça toile

[skooks @skooookum]

Time to DoorDash a Gatorade #NoTip

[lottie @l0ttiehall]

Fair play to Ellie, she could’ve stayed, she knows she’s a fan favourite as she’s been voted favourite girl. She’s literally proved she’s genuine. Wish her every brand deal and success that comes her way, genuinely one of the best islanders ever #loveisland

[erika @yeeeerika]

i love when my cat decides we're hanging out now. wasn't on my schedule but okay boss i love you

[michael @heatherr0ads]

roommate just told me he’s “running off seven hours of sleep”

[Dilo con gatitoz @DiloConGatitoz]

Metimos a lavar sus peluches y está desesperado

[Tharries @TharriesYT]

She is the expert I guess

[Benj @BenjoPompey]

Either way

It’s coming home

#england

[fenlon @1fenlon]

my cat just threw a bunch of her litter on the floor and then took a shit in the pile she made instead if the box #SoClose