arhan

[Amiri King @AmiriKing]

My toddler loves Monsters Inc. especially Mike Wazowski.

Yesterday I was in Walmart and came across this cool t-shirt.

I immediately bought it, put it on in the car, and rushed home to show my toddler.

I hunted her down as soon as I came through the door.

She was sitting on the couch watching Hogi and eating Goldfish crackers.

I said, ‘Libby check out my cool new shirt!’

I was beaming. I just knew she was gonna think my shirt was the coolest shit ever.

She looked at me, looked at my shirt, scoffed, and yelled, ‘GO AWAY!’

Listen.

I don’t think we talk enough about what huge pieces of shit toddlers are.

That’s literally my TV you are watching.
I paid for those Goldfish crackers.
That’s my fucking couch.

I bought this cool t-shirt ONLY because of you.

And this is your response you f#ggot piece of sh!t??

You are wearing a shirt with a turtle on it that says, ‘Turtley Adorable’ you fuck!ng idiot.

You are broke.
Homeless.
Have poor life skills.
You can’t even fucking speak English.

You are basically a Somali immigrant only brighter in complexion and with much less forehead mass.

I’ll wipe my ass with this shirt.

Fuck this shirt.

Bitch nigga.

Your mom is fat.

[cav empty @cavempty_]

getting clean

[osama @0ba0sama]

Civil Rights Actavis

[vel @churchmouseirl]

the lion hadnt really thought about it that way

[arhan @arhan3500]

@tdawgsmitty @Battlefield

[McDonald's @McDonalds]

the fog closes in… on the Silent Hill McDonalds

[miri 🍂 @aamimiri]

I do not "have a study method", I do not do "study plans". I sit down and read, and if I don't remember what I read, I KILL MYSELF

[dracula flow @draculafl0w]

They must have amnesia, they forgot that I’m him

[Soulless Analyst @SoullessAnalyst]

where do you see yourself 12 beers from now, what’s your 12 beer plan

[arhan @arhan3500]

@CallofDuty arhan3500#1771586 #BlackOps7 @CallofDuty

[❒ @RlCKYRAGE]

when the song you queued finally comes on and nobody fw it https://t.co/VQGjFHoGyC

[ja-hamon 🪓 @hoodheresies07]

Nigga beatin off on black ops 1