Arisah.

nyenyenyenyee

[𝓲𝓬𝓮 @be_like_ice]

I think going to a cat cafe when I have a cat at home must be what going to a strip club when you're married feels like.

[LJ 🦧 @crotchner2]

if you and your wife are done having children why wouldn’t you get a vasectomy. why not. are you planning on walking out on your family for a 19 year old? because i can’t think of any other reason for refusal

[no body @Fire_Missionary]

@parhloumahrukh Because of the stupid specific categories.

I.e. "best selling book in romance with vampires who also are billionaire philanthropist serial killers and own a Honda"

[Syd @kirb1e]

Nigga I said water

[Dr. Mia Brett @QueenMab87]

Men need to write better fanfic. This is just embarrassing

[Elle Nolastname @DSMSIX]

“So… I’ve met someone new. She lives in Germany and-”

expected prejudice: “she”? you’re dating a girl?

my Brazilian family: AFTER WHAT THEY DID TO US IN THE 2014 WORLD CUP SEMIFINALS?

[ashley ray @theashleyray]

you can tell a man wrote this because any woman in this situation could have a husband in a fortnight

[Hasan 👁‍🗨 @flackospalace]

Company greed is the reason why

[E🎀 @ElsSaidIt]

Don’t ask me for dating advice, beat him or something… idk

[refriedbuttsects @refriedbuttsect]

his ass stops sprinting 2 business days after he does

[☔ @Whotfismick]

Me on my day off not knowing whether I should sleep or make the most of life

[t. @taeseru]

mind you this is romantic af

[˖ Ridhima 𓂀 ݁˖ @ridhima_z]

Men say that bringing flowers on a first date is “too much,” while carrying condoms in their pockets themselves.

[💗 @ma1ybe]

Fork found in Kitchen.

[Deisine @TDeisine]

Ask him why he does not have a group chat or a therapist. Women are not born with these things, they put in effort to create all these for themselves.

[moku @mokudesuka]

Unprocessed : Padi
Uncooked : Beras
Cooked : Nasi
Overcooked : Bubur
Compressed : Ketupat
Sticky: Pulut

[Anvi🍒 @anvixox]

when i was so busy at work and didn’t even get a chance to pretend i was working: