Hypno Mutt @arkhammrscience - Twitter Profile

Teacher: “Why were you absent yesterday?” Student: “I was at my own funeral.” Teacher: “Try again.” Student: “I was at my own funeral.” Teacher: “You’re sitting right here.” Student: “That’s what confused everyone.” Teacher: “I’m already regretting asking.” Student: “Understandable.” Teacher: “Explain.” Student: “Someone posted online that I had died.” Teacher: “And people believed it?” Student: “Apparently.” Teacher: “Without checking?” Student: “You’d be surprised.” Teacher: “So where does the funeral come in?” Student: “My relatives organized a memorial.” Teacher: “In one day?” Student: “My family is very efficient.” Teacher: “And nobody called you?” Student: “My phone was dead.” Teacher: “Of course it was.” Student: “When I arrived, there were flowers.” Teacher: “You’re joking.” Student: “I wish.” Teacher: “What did you do?” Student: “I walked in.” Teacher: “And?” Student: “My aunt fainted.” Teacher: “Reasonable.” Student: “My cousin screamed.” Teacher: “Also reasonable.” Student: “My grandfather asked if ghosts could eat cake.” Teacher: “What?” Student: “There was memorial cake.” Teacher: “There was cake?” Student: “A surprisingly good one.” Teacher: “Please stay focused.” Student: “Sorry.” Teacher: “How did the rumor start?” Student: “That’s the best part.” Teacher: “I’m afraid to ask.” Student: “The post wasn’t even about me.” Teacher: “Then why did everyone think it was?” Student: “We have the same name.” Teacher: “Someone else died?” Student: “Yes.” Teacher: “That’s horrible.” Student: “It gets worse.” Teacher: “How?” Student: “The other guy was alive too.” Teacher: “…” Student: “He showed up halfway through.” Teacher: “There were two dead people at the same funeral?” Student: “Three, actually.” Teacher: “Three?” Principal: “Can someone explain why half the town attended my funeral yesterday?” Teacher: “I’m going home.”

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