Frank, the Forest Nymph

New Army dad of 3 littles

[Frank, the Forest Nymph @ArmyDadFTW]

Having kids do chores is kind of like indentured servitude...

Every month in the womb, is 2 years of service.

[Library Opossum @Average_Wife]

I love you in the present tense. Always. It doesn't matter that you've been gone for a day and it won't matter how long. I will always love you. My sweet Kat, my Levy, my Merlin, my work wife, my friends- I will miss you every day and love you until my last breath. RIP babe

[Frank, the Forest Nymph @ArmyDadFTW]

@jdstalnaked 🤢

[Frank, the Forest Nymph @ArmyDadFTW]

@pulte My wife has worked so hard to get everyone gifts this year and we're feeling like she's getting left out because of it. We'd love this blessing. $StewartLudwig1994

[Frank, the Forest Nymph @ArmyDadFTW]

@UnitedHayze @Average_Wife

[Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness]

My Wife: Don’t look at your phone while driving

Also my wife when I’m driving: What do you think of these bar stools?

[Frank, the Forest Nymph @ArmyDadFTW]

@Shorttempered30 A DOG?!?

[Frank, the Forest Nymph @ArmyDadFTW]

@Average_Wife @EmAsInMoney Hmmm? What'd I do now?

[Frank, the Forest Nymph @ArmyDadFTW]

@Average_Wife 😍😍😍🤤

[Frank, the Forest Nymph @ArmyDadFTW]

@RESPAWNProducts @Its_WDMichael, this man puts on weekly Pokemon VGC tournaments so that people can get a taste of what to expect at events.

[Frank, the Forest Nymph @ArmyDadFTW]

@WolfeyGlick WAIT.

[Library Opossum @Average_Wife]

😏😏😏

[Daddy Go Fish @daddygofish]

me: a dozen is 12, but a baker’s dozen is 13.

my 8yo: that makes sense because there’s a kid at my school named Baker who’s bad at counting.

[Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources @waDNR]

To avoid straining your eyes at work, use the 20-20-20 rule: Every 20 minutes, go for a 20-minute hike and spend the next 20 years in the woods.

[Frank, the Forest Nymph @ArmyDadFTW]

Crazy idea, but why haven't any of Spider-Man's villains just tried to put Spider-Man in a jar?

[Frank, the Forest Nymph @ArmyDadFTW]

@poepilled *makes a comfortable amount of eye contact*

[Frank, the Forest Nymph @ArmyDadFTW]

@UnitedHayze @Average_Wife

[Frank, the Forest Nymph @ArmyDadFTW]

@SSnarkapuss A dress does not require pants 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Frank, the Forest Nymph @ArmyDadFTW]

@MomOf2Happas How did we never know we have the same birthday?!? 🤣🤣 Happy birthday!