s h e l b

strange but not a stranger. @uolinguistics born n bred. she/her 🏳️‍🌈

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

every time my dad calls me

[ash @heythatsmeash]

Overheard a guy ending a conversation: “well, those are all my funny things I had to say.”

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

@satou_sabally she’s MY finals MVP fr

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

pollen aka the devil’s dust aka powdered poison aka satan’s seasoning is really kicking my ass this year

[Gale Na @poisonjr]

i feel like i evolved from fish way more recently than most people

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

are you listening or just waiting to talk?

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

@tinynewbornbaby you were ~not~ tweeting about the selfie lighting mid hangout

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

@tinynewbornbaby felt

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

saw a tr*** flag on a grave today at the cemetery (???) which was actually perfect because my dog shit twice and i only brought one bag

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

@boygeniussource whoever retouched the second one is going to jail

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

@VagrantTravels alex honnold who

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

no one:

my retired father at 12:30pm on a monday:

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

can someone text kamala?

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

at what point do we make a nationwide decision to stop involving live animal mascots at sporting events?

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

mentally and spiritually in a place that can only be described as “yikes”

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

the fallacy causation videos have gone too far, i just saw an instagram reel that said, “millennials who partied in your early 20’s…how’s your high energy working breed?” like WHAT? how are those two things connected in ANY WAY this has to stop

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

@strongerpotions who is cutting onions

[Sabrina Ionescu @sabrina_i20]

If you can shoot you can shoot 🤣🤣

[LeBron James @KingJames]

CAITLIN CLARK!!!!! HI HATERS

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

some days i am functioning well and others i am consuming some form of bread and cheese for each meal of the day

[s h e l b @arnsonist]

@tinynewbornbaby just so you know I completely forgot about this tweet until you said something irl so the psychic connection was strong