Alyssa Roberson

just kazoo it

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

Me @ 7: waits for Papa Johns employee at my front door and let’s my Dad open and greet him/her

Me @ 21: the same except there’s more waving involved and I can’t open the door because of social distancing

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

Interviewer: Who are you wearing?

Me: Self-Tanner, because I have a horrible tan from only working drive thru—

#EssentialWorker #chickfila

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

COVID-19: all right, we’re gonna need everyone to close

Chick-Fil-A drive thru: hold my diet lemonade

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

I guess I’m subconsciously addicted to literature because I woke up this morning, snuggling the book I put in my side table last night. No, “Dr. Zhivago,” you at least have to take me to diner first.

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

Doctor Who is off Amazon Prime.

Nothing matters anymore.
#doctorwho

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

Guy taking order: I pride myself in knowing how to spell names. What’s yours?

Me: Alyssa

Him: how do you spell that?

Me:

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

@olivia_synan As long as it comes from Chick-Fil-A or McDonalds... sweet tea can be a side homie

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

Water, Coke Cola, and Coffee.

The holy trinity of drinks.

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

When I wake up in the morning and haven’t taken any allergy medicine yet

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

I found out my 60 year old poetry professor has seen Bee Movie so we quoted it during class while the other Seniors stared in worry. Nothing else matters anymore have a great day 🐝

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

Well. Here we go again. I share a birthday with Percy Jackson and I’ve never been a prouder to be Creative Writing major. Thanks @camphalfblood

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

That’s it. Screw what the world thinks. I want a toaster.

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

Sometimes I really wish I was a llama

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

My camper: *takes the biggest, hardest fall*

Also my camper: AT LEAST MY GOLDFISH DIDN’T SPILL

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

My brother gave me his extra deodorant (bc this idiot waffle left hers two hours away and is to lazy to buy a new stick) but I’m proud to announce I smell like a little 13 yr old boy

How’s your week been

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

Ok but I honestly need Coke-Cola for my sanity

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

Camp 2019:

Me: *looks in mirror* I look like a little potato boy and I’m ready for the day

Roommate: WHAT NOW???

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

Camp 2019: Fishy Fishy

Tip #1 - when playing fishy fishy... look out for other people. Otherwise you will run into them, kick them in the shins, and proceed to eat dirt when you hit the ground.

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

Camp 2019: Allergies

“Have I already taken a Benadryl today? Yes. Will I take more? Absolutely.”

“ALYSSA ITS 7:20 IN THE MORNING”

[Alyssa Roberson @aroberson98]

*move out day*

Roommate: Bye.

Me: But I love you and you’re moving away forever.

Roomate: Bye.

Me: But let me hug you and love you.

Roomate: No. Bye.

Me: WE SHARED A POWER-STRIP FOR MONTHS MAN DID THAT MEAN NOTHING

#college