Hamm Burglar

prettier than u

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

NIGGA UNFOLLOWED ME THOUGH. oh well.

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

did you guys know that Dani was my first friend on twitter?

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

nobody puts baby in the corner. NOBODY.

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

@OwlCityCanada well that sucks. /:

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

I'm never on twitter and I have no friends.

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

what's up WOW

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

anyways, what's with everyone else?

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

I should be the boss because I'm the only one who knows how to do shit around that place.

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

like jesus christ my coworkers are stupid, my boss is stupid, and most of all people who order subs are stupid.

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

I was so close to quitting my job today.

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

bernisha just told me I'm triflin'.

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

I'm into long walks, romantic dinners, emotional discussions, and necrophilia.

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

@DaniB345T who is he he doesn't love you more than me

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

I was too lazy to cook for me and bernisha so I just ordered a pizza.

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

that's right. JOEY DOESN'T LIKE YOU. he's my cat, go away.

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

to end this serious little topic my cat totally just bitch slapped my sister when she tried to pet him.

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

most people are single because everyone has such high expectations that nobody will ever meet.

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

when you hold super high expectations for a relationship, you're passing up a lot of people who could be good for you.

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

@lesbiannnns ok

[Hamm Burglar @aronymouss]

there will never be someone who will meet every single standard that you hold for a relationship. lay off a little and you might find one.