Arpo Deepo

Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

"If being a kid is about learning how to live then being a grown-up is about learning how to die" #happymonday

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

“Cough AIDS”

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

If you do that thing where you grab your chin and crack your neck around me I will finish the job. Whilst making eye contact with whoever is closest.

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

After looking at ex-boss’ heated lunch “oh you’re on the dog shit diet? Do you feel any different?” #realbreakroomtalk

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

“Mary Jane” is a masterpiece. Rick James is the feeling man’s Prince

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

Everybody knows that you only have to look to the Fermi Paradox to see that we're living in a simulation. And that your parents loved you in spite of being human garbage #basereality

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

Bitches are all like "ooh, the math is undeniable that we're living in a simulation". Their math is based on a self-referential assumption that there ARE simulations. This is a dragon sucking on his own cock for eternity.

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

In honor of @SlashIntercept dusting off ancient history this shit's going to be real again. At least until I am reminded that all your tweets suck and "society is too sick to survive"

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

As a society, we haven’t discussed how many prostitutes Richard Gere solicited in “Pretty Woman” prior to the start of the movie.

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

A lot of us think that ghosts can hug each other but in reality there is no proof of this yet.

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

“I saw mommy licking Santa’s balls” - this works best with the Mellencamp version.

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

If you don’t know where you’re going at Walgreens, they all think you’re just stalling to buy condoms. Stay cool.

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

The cooler breezes of early autumn are a spoken promise: your Grandmother and Grandfather are not together in heaven.

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

Everything is either an old man's cock or not an old man's cock.

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

Had no idea bad neck and forearm tattoo shops were so busy over the winter

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

Coffee shops without the graveyard fog of cigarette smoke just aren't worth it.

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

"Precision haircuts"

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

I soaked cherries in amaretto starting on Wednesday because I'm one of them those Wisconsin "alcoholics"

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

If you're not under 12 or over 65, I don't want to hear what you have to say. Present company excluded, of course.

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

Middle school choir concert ends with "Man in the Mirror". I like to think Michael was there, close. Really, really close.

[Arpo Deepo @arpodeepo]

Your biological Mothers are all sluts. Today is about making them forget that, at least for a while. You're a good kid. #happymothersday