“It’s not about rabbits out the hat, it’s not about pantomime, we’ve had that. I’m running as a candidate to be Prime Minister, not a candidate to run the circus”
Someone call an ambulance for Beth Rigby. That was a brilliant comeback.
The working actor who saw the job on Mandy, selling ONE jar of marmalade at a tenner each, whilst The Unknown and Kate Middleton have a giggle on the bouncy castle
Met a bloke yesterday who told me I was a wrongun for enjoying a new potato on a roast dinner. Same man said his last meal would be a plate of stuffing. Need I say anymore 💅
Mary Earps for PM, Sports Personality of the Year, England manager, Eurovision host, Bake Off judge, next Doctor in Doctor Who, Christmas Number One, next James Bond, and Glamour Awards clean sweep.
Can’t wait for the Barbie soundtrack to hit panto season. There will be Cinderellas doing Dance the Night at the ball, Peter Pans singing What Was I Made For, drowning in dry ice in front of a star cloth, and someone from Blue will close Act 1 with Beanstalk World by Nicki Minaj.