the brain views uncertainty as a threat and holds us back from doing things that are challenging, uncomfortable or risky. but ironically that’s often how we learn, grow and build self confidence
My therapist once said:
"You're not incompatible. You're just both trying to feel safe in opposite ways." One person needs closeness to feel secure. The other needs space to feel okay. One person talks through problems. The other needs to process alone first.
One person wants reassurance.
The other shows love through action,
not words. We spent years thinking we were wrong for each other. Turns out we just needed to understand what safety looks like for each of us.
And stop taking it personally when our partner's needs looked different.
Compatibility isn't about wanting the same things. It's about respecting different ways of getting there.
i’ve been doing this on my own for too long i’m used to fighting my battles alone. but you can’t win them on your own, right ? if you wanna win, you need an army
Do not borrow shame from the past. You are not that person anymore and you simply didn't know better. No reason to beat yourself up for it.
All you can do is really do better.