Asp Blue Ribbon

“Much to think about” Billy Ray Cyrus 🤠🧠🤔💭

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

Levitating ominously is honestly such a vibe

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

When your spontaneous vending machine engagement is used as marketing, where is the sanctity

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

Kind of surprised by results tbh

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

Choose ur horny react

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

Not trying to gatekeep experiences of abuse, but the Mormons and exmorms acting shook that the LDS church actively covers up and allows abuse is getting on my nerves. The naïveté. The mental gymnastics. The pearl clutching. Why do you think folks leave, cause we’re bored?

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

Choose ur horny react

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

@JustinMcElroy Please God, this has to get picked up somewhere somehow @chrisfluming

[cory @coolmathgame_]

alien: these are your ancestors?? lmfaooo 💀😂😂

[shows me a video of a monkey jumpin around goin ooh ooh ah ah]

me: [getting really defensive] that was a long time ago. turn that off

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

Y’all hooking up? When you could be burning? Pining? Perishing?

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

Areola dysmorphia

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

He’s a 10, but he’s a DM so he’s a natural 20 (unrelated, Eddie Munson is trending)

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

How bout you get a shift at Denny’s

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

I know I’m late to this, but shifting? We’ve yassified daydreaming?

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

Waking up at 3am and typing out two minutes worth of discordant standup material in your notes app: “oh yeah, I’ve still got it.”

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

Why is the tender, sensual moment in a movie always when one of the leads is having a wound tended to. I’d be squirming like a bitch. Not romantic.

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

@trevordwade You know what…you’re right, things could be worse

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

Why are we putting the word “milk” in hair products, I don’t want this

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

I dream of living in this persons neighborhood and becoming their arch nemesis by simply existing in my ugly ass outfits

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

I forgot I have like one follower with ovaries. I should not have shared our secret.

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

People say men think with their dicks, but have you ever ovulated before?? That shit makes you coocoo bananas

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

Girlie really said “it’s not a breakdown, it’s a breakthrough 😌✨🌈”

[Asp Blue Ribbon @As_penDrake]

When you tell your therapist something you thought would be a 5150 flag, but instead they are happy about this “important moment in your growth”