P

[P @asappresh_]

Brb skipping the first week of classes so I don’t have to reassure people my real name is actually Precious

[Philip Klotzbach @philklotzbach]

For the first time since 1950, the Atlantic has two 110+ mph #hurricanes in August simultaneously (#Franklin and #Idalia).

[Jim Cantore @JimCantore]

BEAST+

[P @asappresh_]

I really go to work and preach about health and home grown produce all day and then go home and pour artificially flavored pixie stick sugar down my throat

[P @asappresh_]

On god what is up with boomers and Gen X thinking they need to yell while talking on the phone in the office

[JUMEX 🪶 @vmpchriis]

date idea: we both take melatonin at 9pm and get 10hrs of sleep

[P @asappresh_]

My coworker asked if I’m going trick or treating tonight… I’m 24

[P @asappresh_]

I will never hate on a man with a yee haw truck ever again after watching them cruise through 3 feet of water in our flooding neighborhood #HurricaneIan

[sarah @Sarah_Kelly17]

@asappresh_

[P @asappresh_]

The hurricane in question vs. the Florida people on Facebook

[P @asappresh_]

Tempted to join a CrossFit gym just for the action pics

[Gabriele Corno @Gabriele_Corno]

Extraordinary white moose was spotted taking a dip in a pool in Sweden's Varmland County
( by Hans Nilsson )

[Luke’s making the migration @_LukeBradley]

Bruh I’m done with AirBnbs. Hotels are pretty much the same price, way more comfortable/less awkward, and don’t mess up a city’s housing market.

Plus they have pools and breakfast.

[P @asappresh_]

I don’t mean to finesse y’all, but I didn’t eat a single piece of candy from the candy bowl at the office today.

[laura ☁️ @llaurajpeg]

if i got pregnant tomorrow and couldn’t get an abortion, at least i can still buy a gun and shoot myself!

[P @asappresh_]

Women, stop having sex with single pro-life men

[Ilhan Omar @IlhanMN]

So the Republican Party supports forcing women to give birth against their will, but opposes providing childcare, paid leave or healthcare. Got it.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Listen, I can’t do miracles ok

[Druni @druniiii]

"yOuRe PrObabLY TaLking tO SoMeOnE eLsE”

I'm talking to myself, leave us alone