Asif

| in the cut like peroxide | TXST Alumni

[Asif @asf_kbr]

LinkedIn be like: do you know Hugh Janus?

[Asif @asf_kbr]

Y’all ever miss being fake as fuck on two discussion board posts??

[Asif @asf_kbr]

3 WR screens in a row 🫪🙂‍↕️

[Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson]

While UT has produced a great many shitty Texas Governors, including our present shithead, the only Texas school with a US President in its alumni club is TXST. -OS

[Asif @asf_kbr]

You can only work at bill millers if you’re deaf I swear

[René @schizohustler]

just got fired for having my intern manually input all 60 of my zyn rewards codes

[Mariella ! @pfaffphobic]

Does everyone like his new hairdo?

[Asif @asf_kbr]

What did I do to you??

[mrs. saxobeat @SHORTlRICAN]

boy fuck you and your 30x32 jeans

[tendollar @tendollardanny]

it’s all fun and games. forever. all the time

[Asif @asf_kbr]

My homie told me I’ve been filling out my shirts 🥲 this gym & good diet shit been paying off.

[Charlie Ledger @CharlieLedgerX]

She’s so hot I want to add her as a beneficiary to my 401k

[henry the vacuum @henry_sux]

that rat bitch jolene did this

[Beaner Sigel @AndreMartel]

Accidentally put too much cologne on now I’m Armenian for the night.

[coconut @coconutgrlll]

no #listentodistrackbitch

[Juju and Cleo @jujubeeandcleo]

I love Facebook marketplace

[Kendall Pennington @Kenny___Rose]

recommending a particular zyn/celsius flavor pairing to a coworker like some sort of nootropics sommelier

[gaming disorder pawg @roun_sa_ville]

Most people if they had a time machine would go back and kill baby Hitler but I would go back to 2006 New York and do everything in my power to get on the cash cab

[vinnie .𖥔 ݁ ˖˚. ᵎᵎ @sioseul]

don’t understand why asian people got the stinky food stereotype because my white coworkers lunches smell like they boiling missing people

[Girth Brooks @crackawdajuice]

My coworkers are constantly creating new smells in the microwave. They are eating straight up seagull meat

[Jerms @NotLordJerms]

you put 16 items on the table cashier gon ask if you want a bag like nah ima just shove all this shit up my ass