Please stop attacking the past versions of you.
They were doing their best at the time and they got you here. It's amazing how much progress you've made and how much you've grown but please don't think your past self lacked worth in any way.
Nobody is ahead of you. Your are in a different race. It's just you. Alone. With your thoughts, ideas, philosophy, your gift, your idiosyncrasies. And the only thing that matters is what you do with what you have.
One of the best pieces of advice I ever got: If you want a calmer life, you need to address small problems while they’re still small. The cost of dealing with an issue rarely gets cheaper with time. Procrastination turns uncomfortable things into unavoidable things.
There’s a Japanese saying:
“If you feel like you’re losing everything, remember, trees lose their leaves every year, yet they still stand tall and wait for better days to come.”
You cannot spend years breaking a child's spirit and then expect a few words in adulthood to repair what took years to destroy. You cannot teach a child to fear your footsteps, your voice, your moods, and your anger, then expect them to see you as a source of comfort later in life
PLEASE Instead of being jealous, study. Look up to people who have mastered what you lack, whether that be confidence, finances, energy, style, or grace. Turn envy into admiration, and admiration into growth.
When someone dies by suicide, people ask:
Why didn’t they talk to someone?
What were they thinking?
How could they do that?
But when someone tries to open up, the world often says:
You’re overreacting.
You’ll be fine.
You’re too sensitive.
That’s life get on with it.
Silencing people in pain and then judging their silence is one of the cruellest things we do as a society.