fumbling a pure lover who wants the best for you, while you continue to not make your intentions clear has to be the most brutal way you could ever treat someone
people have their favourites and you might not be one of them. you could have a great relationship with someone, always show up for them, give your best and even go out of your way to make them feel special.. yet still not be the person they cherish most. it stings at first but that’s life. people love differently and their affection is not always tied to effort, loyalty or consistency. sometimes the person they adore isn’t doing half of what you do but that’s not your cue to compete for a place in someone's heart. it’s your cue to rest, remain genuine and understand that being yourself is far more rewarding than being someone’s favourite. stay where your presence is valued, your efforts are appreciated, and your absence is felt.
i’ve tasted having a crush, i’ve tasted being in a talking stage, and i’ve tasted liking someone new. i highly recommend finding a new hobby and focusing on your dreams and goals.
I think my biggest red flag is that i never really know how to talk about my feelings. when i'm going through something, i tendok to stop talking to everyone until i feel okay again. i have a lot of conversations with myself in my head about how i feel, and is explain it so well there - but getting it to actually come out of my mouth is so hard. once i feel okay, i'll start communicating again as if nothing happened. it's not that i'm being distant with you; i just process things better when i'm alone.