My son had a stuffed elephant he called "Elephant" - very creative - that went everywhere with him from age 2 to about 6. We had to wash this thing weekly because it got so grimy. One time we accidentally left Elephant at a restaurant two hours away. Didn't realize until we got home and my son had a complete meltdown. I called the restaurant, they had it, so I drove back that night to get it. Four hours round trip for a stuffed elephant. My wife said I was being ridiculous but you didn't see his face. The restaurant staff had put Elephant in a little chair and given him a menu, took a photo. It was really sweet actually. My son's 14 now and Elephant is in a box in the attic somewhere. Sometimes I think about digging him out but that feels weird. That drive though, I'd do it again. Kids only care about stuff like that for such a small window.
i don't know who needs to hear this but your ability to create the reality that you want is directly determined by your willingness to experience its opposite.
- saving money will have you feeling broke while it's actually making you rich.
- setting boundaries will have you feeling alone while you're creating new healthy relationships in your life.
- digging up your trauma will have you feeling broken while it's actually healing you.
- working out has you feeling weak while it's really making you strong.
- learning something new makes you feel dumb while it's making you more intelligent.
your ability to attain the thing that you want is directly correlated with how willing you are to experience its opposite. you have to be ok with being uncomfortable to truly achieve success!
You need boredom. A lot of it. Start by going on walks without music. No stimulation. No distractions of any kind. If you learn to sit with your own thoughts, for long enough, in time they will start serving you. You'll start having ideas once again. You'll start developing an extreme sense of clarity that will shift you into the next stage of your life. All by being bored, which is pretty insane.
Some days require profound reflection and personal development. Other days require good food, an excellent outfit and absolutely no lessons whatsoever.
a regulated nervous system isn't quiet. it's responsive. it laughs loud in restaurants. it cries at commercials. it gets a full body chill from a song it hasn't heard in years. people mistake numbness for peace because numbness is easier to manage. but real peace has a pulse. it moves through you instead of around you.
I will never stop shouting this from the rooftops: the most underrated skill you’ll ever develop is the ability to genuinely enjoy your own life. Not someday, when you’ve healed enough, earned enough, or finally figured everything out. NOW. Because your life isn’t waiting for you somewhere in the future—it’s being built in the way you experience this ordinary Sunday, this cup of coffee, this conversation, this sunset, this breath.
Lukewarm take: we need to stop using mental health/therapy buzzwords in day to day life. Not everyone you dislike is a narcissist. Being sad doesn’t mean you’re depressed. There’s a resounding difference between being nervous and having anxiety. You’re not ADHD because you don’t like to sit still. You’re not autistic because you’re quirky. OCD doesn’t mean you’re organized. And for the love of all that is holy, not every situation that made you uncomfortable is “trauma”.