8th Grade Geography Bee Champ

Legible bachelor. Dyslexic.

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

Why does circumcisions have to be all-or-nothing—can't you leave some?

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

Do you think there was ever a porn guy named Hanging Chad?

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

@elonmusk Ya gay

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

Rare insult: Seems like you do most of your shopping at the drug store

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

Why does every regional weatherman look like they have a drinking problem

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

If I was a bully at a golf high school, I would definitely go by "Slice"

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

Why doesn't Febreze make butt plugs

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

Johnny Depp: "A micropenis?"

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

I love that one breakfast sandwich at Denny's. You know, Moons Over Miami

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

Ladies always seemed so concerned with penis size but never seem to ask about penis personality. Like, he's not huge but he's really, really funny.

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

I swallowed a Dulcolax earlier and have been talking shit all day

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

Do you think barber shop owners ever sweep up all the hair on the floor and dive into it like a big pile of leaves?

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

Actual sentence I overheard someone say today: "Shoes are just napkins for the feet"

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

Fr

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

You're not a REAL alcoholic until you've woken up in the back seat of a Toyota Tacoma

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

After how many layers of BroGlo does it technically become blackface

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

Can you doordash cigarettes

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

@pod197424 @Senn_Spud I hate seeing you happy

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

@elonmusk Get this man some car keys

[8th Grade Geography Bee Champ @ashepburn]

Having a wife is like having a girlfriend you CANNOT break up with