Ashley Grzybowski

mother of Finnegan, a very cross-eyed cat @crosseyedfinn

[anu @anuatluru]

there should be a "take your friend to work day" so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories

[Ashley Grzybowski @ashgrzz]

I feel the need to tell you all that Heidi sings "John Jacob jinglheimer Schmidt" as "John Jacob Jason Taylor swift" @taylorswift13

[Ashley Grzybowski @ashgrzz]

Why do they call it the “pitter patter of little feet”? When my kids run around it sounds like a stampede of elephants! 🐘 👣

[Ashley Grzybowski @ashgrzz]

It annoys me that I can’t use “your mom” jokes on my kids. #parenting #momjokes

[Ashley Grzybowski @ashgrzz]

Happy Easter everyone! We were awoken by a 5 year old mermaid princess at 6:20am and notified of the Easter bunny's arrival. #HappyEaster #parenting #needmorecoffee

[David Hogg 🟧 @davidhogg111]

It says fucking well regulated. What part of 45,000 gun deaths a year looks well regulated to you?

[Jon Cooper 🇺🇸 @joncoopertweets]

#GunReform

[Ana Navarro-Cárdenas @ananavarro]

Drag Shows don’t kill kids.
Books don’t kill kids.
Green m&m’s don’t kill kids.
Big Bird doesn’t kill kids.
AP courses, don’t kill kids.
Learning history, doesn’t kill kids.
Dolly Parton’s & Miley Cyrus rainbow song, doesn’t kill kids.

Fucking guns are the #1 killer of kids.

[Ashley Grzybowski @ashgrzz]

@plates_de LELLOW

[David Hogg 🟧 @davidhogg111]

Talked with a Professor at Harvard Law yesterday about this. Can confirm.

[Ashley Grzybowski @ashgrzz]

My 4 yr old corrected her grandfather this morning. “It’s not called the #SuperBowl , it’s called the @Eagles game!” #GoBirds #ItsAPhillyThing #flyeaglesfly

[Ashley Grzybowski @ashgrzz]

@tesla @elonmusk why does my car freak out at this one intersection every morning for no apparent reason? #fullselfdrivefail #fsdbeta

[Ashley Grzybowski @ashgrzz]

My 4 yr old keeps hearing people talk about the @Eagles She thinks her #delawarebluehens shirt is an Eagles shirt. Today I asked her “do you know what the eagles are?” She said “are they a heron?” 🦅 #GoBirds

[Ashley Grzybowski @ashgrzz]

Me: pouring my coffee 4: Mommy I didn’t get marker on your special seat cushion! Me: taking my coffee to see purple marker all over the chair I inherited from my grandmother #parenting

[Ashley Grzybowski @ashgrzz]

Told my husband that @crosseyedfinn is in fact my soul mate and he is just my first husband. Had to put him in his place! #catlady

[Ashley Grzybowski @ashgrzz]

@elonmusk keeps firing people at @Twitter but meanwhile at @Tesla he’s paying people to update my car’s software so now I can make it fart remotely from my phone app. They also added a new fart sound called “verified fart” which has a Twitter blue check mark.

[Ashley Grzybowski @ashgrzz]

My 4 yr old just saw an acorn and called it a “chipmunk egg”

[Ashley Grzybowski @ashgrzz]

Told my 4yr old they canceled the #MacysThanksgivingParade cuz she kept stealing her baby brothers toys.

[Ashley Grzybowski @ashgrzz]

I did the thing. #vote

[Ashley Grzybowski @ashgrzz]

Why do citrus fruits smell so horrible when they rot?