Ashleighsabeth Collins

A hoe in the know. New York times columnist. Sassy. A goose beat up my son and I filmed it.

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

@DrinkHiC omg I love @Ghostbusters!
I don’t even *need* to maybe never know what might happen! Sometimes you just do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.
Egon taught me that.

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

@KMarch_ Wild!

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

Was that a fly on Pence’s head?!?
We know what fly’s are attracted to...

[The Drabblecast @Drabblecast]

Insanity—this is real.
Clathrus Archeri, or “octopus stinkhorn.” The young fungus erupts from a suberumpent egg by forming into four to seven elongated slender octopoid arms.

In maturity it smells like putrid flesh.

The corpse smell attracts flies that disseminate spores.

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

Ignore that last tweet y’all! I took an ambien earlier and don’t know what got into me! :p

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

Мы покорим Землю и поработим вас всех, будем делать с вами, что хотим, питаться вашей нежной плотью на великой Ужасной Жатве.

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

Girl, I don’t normally do vaccinations because the science is still out but If it’ll help take care of my two quaranteens, stick me baby!

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

I just stacked some saltines up like dominoes and pushed one and it wound up making a marble fall into a cup and then a mouse was caught. No one believes me.
And that’s the worst part really.

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

You don’t really miss Taco Bell until you realize you cant have it.
Damn I just say whatever the fuck on this twitter thing don’t I?

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

Peloton is all like, see? This is why you should have bought us for Christmas instead of hatin.

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

Totes!

[Greg McElwain @gmcelwain]

I think I picked the wrong semester to assign a title such as “The Solitary Self,” though it feels relevant each time we have a virtual class.

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

My kids are like “this is a great opportunity to start home brewing!” and I’m like everybody’s doing that dude.

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

I wonder if dinosaurs were losing their shit about the economy after that asteroid hit.

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

Animals be crossin shit, son.

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

This stimulus money was a nudge nudge wink wink to file our 2018 taxes. Let’s just be honest here.

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

We got this yo, God is on our side.

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

Wash your hands like you’re washing Ryan Seacrest. He’s had a really tough year.

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

Enigmatic CDC update: See you at the crossroads, (crossroooads) All a thug gotta do is cry, cry—
Why they kill my dog and man,
do I miss my uncle charles y'all, Tell me whatcha gonna do, when judgement comes 4 u, bone bone bone bone bone

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

Ra's al Ghul says we should become the bat, not vaccinate against our fears. CONQUER YOUR DARKNESS folks!

[Ashleighsabeth Collins @ashleighsabeth]

Yo I asked this once before the pandemic but now I’m frealz. How do u cook?