Ashley Ardito

I'm Ashley. Sometimes I'm funny. I love cats. Music 💕. I sleep a lot. Johnny Depp is my husband ❤️

[Ashley Ardito @ashleyardito]

Feeling confident today 💕 wish I could find my contacts 😂

[Ashley Ardito @ashleyardito]

Howling is just dogs saying “uwu”

[Ashley Ardito @ashleyardito]

There are way more what’s than chicken butts

[Ashley Ardito @ashleyardito]

My friend re-came out as not lesbian, and her fucking sister goes “BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE AMERICAN”

[Button Poetry @buttonpoetry]

“I like my
body best
when I am
not worried
about how
much space
it is taking up.”

- @badass_sab

https://t.co/yLrRqD8mDy

[Dak (Retired) @RidiculousDak]

When you’re walking past the aisles at Walmart and finally see your mom

[Eugenia Cooney @Eugenia_Cooney]

Thank you so much @shanedawson for making this video with me and sharing my story. It really means so much to me. I'm so SO happy with this and you are truly amazing 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️https://t.co/WgkTVGbz0p

[Shane Dawson @shanedawson]

The Return of Eugenia Cooney
https://t.co/Py6VFtz9Ee

[Ashley Ardito @ashleyardito]

Me on the phone:
“Oh shit I gotta hang up. My phones on 99%. I have to go charge it so it doesn’t die”

[Ashley Ardito @ashleyardito]

My girlfriend came out as a lesbian to me today

[Ashley Ardito @ashleyardito]

Me: no one cares about me
My friends: we love and care about you
Me: awe I love and care about you too
My friends: no one cares about me

[Ashley Ardito @ashleyardito]

S: there was this girl in high school who used to bully me

A: did you put a bear trap under her foot?

S: no, I fucked her boyfriend

[Ashley Ardito @ashleyardito]

When you fail to pronounce Beethoven, and instead you say “Beeth Oven”

[Ashley Ardito @ashleyardito]

My burrito is very upset by this tweet

[Adrien™ @bedheadbrat]

Burritos don't have feelings

[Ashley Ardito @ashleyardito]

It’s not “tea” it’s “teey”

Yeet backwards

[Ashley Ardito @ashleyardito]

IF GLOBAL WARMING ISNT REAL THEN WHY DID CLUB PENGUIN SHUT DOWN?