Ashley Sager

Just your friendly neighborhood dad.

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

I can’t light, no more of your darkness.

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

My love language is memes.

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

@mag_pipes Omg. These are GOLD 🤣

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

Today an older woman in her 70’s told me I’m one of her best friends. I love my job. #rehabassist

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

Today a patient shit on a chair and our boss told us we handled it “perfectly”.

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

Have you ever eaten sushi while driving?…. Yeah, me neither. 👀

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

Leave it to Stranger Things to make Kate Bush mainstream.

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

Today an old man was wearing a hat that said “Born in the USA a long time ago” and I laughed for about 15 min.

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

Today I found out a taco truck parks in the employee parking lot every Tuesday for lunch. I love my new job.

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

There is nothing better knowing you have 3 days left of your job. Today I walked into a meeting 15 min late with a Starbucks. Literally.

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

Jeremy and I just got into Ru Paul’s Drag Race and I now I understand why everyone I’ve ever met was FLOORED that I didn’t watch it.

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

Get this. Dancing with the stars featuring the cast of cars. Dancing. With. The. Cars.

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

@Mkoch17 I rest my case. 😏🍸

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

The thought of an espresso martini makes me want to shit my pants.

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

@Mkoch17 Martinis should ONLY be gin, dry vermouth, stirred not shaken, and topped with AT LEAST 2-3 olives. Not a bean of coffee in sight.

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

@Mkoch17 Definitely anti. That’s poop juice.

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

I hate the stupid gold cups on Love is Blind. Get real glassware.

[Ashley Sager @ashleyunicorn]

Why on earth did this show up on an Instagram ad for me?!