Ashli

occasional thoughts

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

dating profile saying “ethical non-monogamy” and it’s always the ugliest man you’ve ever seen

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

do men on dating apps know they can respond

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

so new york centric i said “west coast” and he said “so like chelsea piers?”

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

this app still opens up when i type in “twitter” to my search bar btw.

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

the name lorne michaels sounds perfectly normal but if someone told me their name was lorne i’d lose my shit

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

also like. last i checked, my brain is still real????

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

i hate when ppl say “it’s all in your head.” bc like, so is schizophrenia.

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

Rick and Morty is basically Doctor Who for stoners

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

people are always SO shocked when i pull out history + knowledge about brands and items casually in conversation but like why are people not more curious about what their items are made of and who originated them???

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

a much bigger flex than merely having money to spend on expensive things is knowing the history and culture of the things you covet and getting informed and doing the research to spend your money on the best version of the thing you want. literacy and cultural context above all

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

they should invent an alcohol that doesn’t make me so nauseous. send tweet

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

*opens this app for the first time in god knows how long* *follows @onionweigher* *closes app*

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

dressing for the female gaze or dressing for the female gays? you decide

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

every time i say “born and raised” my brain REALLY wants me to shorten it to “braised”

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

hinge keeps recommending i go out with men who look like they have never seen a vagina before

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

i only tweeted twice this year. and i stand by that fingerprint tweet

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

girl dinner has prepared me for making “meals” out of all the food i have left in my fridge the day before i travel

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

FUCK YOU
*unpops your corn*

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

@MilkDudsUS collab?

[Ashli @ashlitobias_]

fingerprints are so weird. like why do i need them