Andrew Smith

Featherless biped.

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

When did @viddler mutilate their logo? Camera icon is gone, so is the dot over the i. Not sure what they were thinking.

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

File under: impractically expensive items which I nevertheless have an irrationally strong desire to own. http://t.co/LCuIRuKvpw

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

As a little boy, I looked up at the stars and knew that one day, I would search thru abandoned desk papers in the quest for HOA payment info

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

Cat's aren't pets, they're abstract art installations.

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

That awkward moment when you become possessed mid-piano recital. https://t.co/JRx6dfDVt7

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

1) Find portal to Narnia 2) Invest in Narnian index funds 3) Return weekly for decades of interest payments. You're welcome, British kids.

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

Don't You See What You've Done? It's All Over. You've Killed Us. You've Killed Us, Charlie Brown #rejectedpeanutsspecials

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

You're Going Into Anaphylactic Shock, Charlie Brown #rejectedpeanutsspecials

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

@jmscross She seems to be happy with food and water. However, she regularly sleeps on the job.

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

Excited to see @davidbazan + @PassengerString at the Crescent Ballroom.

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

````154 is apparently the cat's addition to my JavaScript.

It caused a syntax error.

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

Cat stalking me in plain sight
Me: I can see you
Cat: NO I'M INVISIBLE
Me: But I can see you
Cat: I AM STEALTH. I AM NINJA. I AM THE NIGHT

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

Life is an Ebola cherries.

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

Q: How do I know if I have Ebola?
A: If your arm bends in the middle, you have Ebolas.

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

@Nero Yes, if you specifically aerosolize it. And spray it on monkeys. In 1995.

[Strong Bad @StrongBadActual]

TWITTER

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

Sometimes I use the phrase "hit me up" and then I know I've become everything I ever hated.

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

For every ISIS or ebola scare piece the media runs, they should have to do a million other pieces about heart disease and car accidents.

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

Don't teach me not to handle other people's bodily fluids, teach ebola not to spread!

[Andrew Smith @ashrewdmint]

Overpaying a mortgage is about the principal of the thing.