Asiah ✌🏻

aggressively mediocre

[Big Tee @societyhatestee]

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep.

[Dan Douglas @dandouglas]

you couldn’t even write a book called “the very hungry caterpillar” these days. it would have to be something like, “the very cunty caterpillar”. or “the caterpillar who served cunt”. because of woke

[Fin 🐈 @AgathasSapphic]

don’t need to ever watch Final Destination because I have OCD intrusive visuals. there is nothing that franchise can come up with that my brain hasn’t played for me already. my mind is the Final Destination

[(つ﹏⊂) @ploocki]

been neglecting my groceries so i have money to spend on cigarettes and drugs

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

cat laziness is so contagious. you'll see your cat flopped on its back in your bed a completely comfy cozy baby and you'l be like. you're right. you make a compelling argument.

[solé @layxsnv]

these new mosquitos pulling yo pants down & eating yo ass !

[⋆⟢ @cyber_l0ser]

the dog in me is just a stray cat

[Azur/Reker @warnoodle00]

Whoever made 🫪 an official emoji need they dick sucked

[Mariam ☧ @Gaismair]

all he did was smoke crack and bang chicks I don't get it

[ɴᴀᴅɪ.🎀༘ @luvblessingz]

Movie theater: Please silence your phones.

Me, who hasn't taken my phone off silent since 2012: *double-checks*

[pinkie pie @pinkiepie71]

im so hungry i could eat the gap between what i said and what i meant

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

why tf does garlic have to wear so many little jackets

[sexpert @sahib14384912]

what if your dark teen dramas third and final season was a tarantino spoof and u killed off half of ur main cast and then the main characters black unc became the punisher and murdered black kingpin and then you had him become amish and then drake executive produced it

[fluttershy @hwrtyed]

the girl who cried Bruh

[Aaron! @c6_shanky]

You take for granted the humble car napkin until you really need one

[Softboy☄️ @softboywin]

Why does it lowkey feel like nobody has a Dalmatian anymore

[Trace 𖤐 @wyotrace]

i know that half orange side talk to her like venom

[roro, PhD @fuglibetty]

Of course, he who has a peanut allergy garners my sympathy. But he will never garner my respect. You were not meant for this earth and you are on borrowed time